By Mikelann Valterra
When women are in a money fog, their dream machine shuts down.
What is money fog? It is the feelings of stress and anxiety caused by financial vagueness. We lose our vision and the dreams for our life because the money fog literally obstructs our view of the future.
When women feel stressed and stuck around money, it keeps them from stepping into the life they want.
They feel stuck in their lives in general, just trying to get through the here and now. Sometimes they have glimpses of dreams, hobbies, houses, or different careers, but the money fog blocks their dream machine. The dream machine begins to spin up, and then money rears its scary, foggy head, and the dream machine shuts down, replaced with stress. “I could never afford it”. “I doubt I make enough for that.” “I could never do that”. However, the money fog keeps you from really finding out.
Money fog keeps you from answering questions related to dreaming and possibilities for the future, from
“I wonder if I could consider…?” to “Would it be possible to…”?
And even bigger inquiries, such as
“What do I really want to consider doing with my life?”
When we are in a money fog, we simply can’t answer these questions, so we shut down the internal conversation.
Being clear about your money life, learning to be in control of the flow of money into and out of your life, leads to exploring a life of your dreams. But how can this clarity open you up to possibility?
Let’s turn to a gardening metaphor to explore the answer.
By creating and tilling healthy financial soil, your dreams can take root. This rich moist soil is made up of knowing where your money goes, of having little debt and possessing sufficient savings. It’s made up of knowing how to plan for expenses, both big and small, and knowing how to adjust when things don’t go according to plan. It’s about feeling in control. The money fog, with its related fear, anxiety, and scattering of life and financial resources, causes the soil to dry out. Dreams simply can’t take root under those circumstances.
The seeds of possibility are all around us:
Many opportunities come to us in our lives, from travel and hobbies to dreams of higher education and having children. But an unhealthy, chaotic, and foggy money life makes the seeds skip off the arid ground and blow away. They have no chance to take hold.
Perhaps someone floats the idea of taking a long vacation and spending the summer in a country you’ve always been curious about. But your first reaction is “I could never afford that!”, though you don’t really know—and never investigate the possibility. Or you’re reading an article online about a really cool city, and you think for a moment what it would be like to move there, but you immediately assume it’s impossible. Who knows what you would need to earn to do that? You shut the idea down. Maybe you meet an interesting woman who is super involved in horseback riding, something you’ve always fantasized about. But your work schedule has never allowed you to do anything that took so much time. And the expense! You make great money, and you work really hard for it. So, you just keep plugging along and dismiss the idea of ever riding horses.
However, when seeds land in healthy financial soil devoid of money fog, you can till and care for them in the garden of your life. Some of the seedlings you discover in your soil you nurture and let grow—tiny ideas that become real possibilities because you have the financial clarity and confidence to explore bringing them to fruition.
In my own life, one tiny seed that blew in on the wind was the idea of learning how to dance tango. At first, I brushed the idea off, simply saying I was too busy. But I also initially assumed that the expense of lessons, fancy clothes, and my secret dreams of dance-related travel would likely be too expensive. Then, I paused and turned to my spending plan, which serves to keep me out of the money fog, and began playing with the idea of taking up the hobby. I took a clear look at all the potential costs. Could I start with some dance lessons to even see if I liked it as much as I suspected? Why, yes, I could.
One thing led to another, and I fell in love with tango with an all-encompassing passion that has given me more joy than I could have imagined. If I had been under financial stress or scattered about money, I likely would not have dipped my toe into the wondrous, complex world of tango dancing. My financial clarity allowed me to see what I could afford and possible tradeoffs to make if I wanted to spend more than I originally anticipated. For example, one year I waited to do some landscaping so I could travel more for dance. Creativity and choice flourish when out of the money fog.
In contrast, arid money soil is made up of money vagueness and a general scattered sense of money.
It often reflects your own unique combination of debt, insufficient savings, and/or low net worth. Or you work too much for the money you make, and there is no extra time or energy for these dreams. Either way, it’s the vagueness that kills the dreams. You honestly don’t know if you can afford something that arises or how much you actually need to make whenever money fog obscures your vision.
If your financial soil is rocky and dry, all those seeds merely blow away. You don’t even notice them floating by, carried on the wind, beyond a vague feeling of a life not fully lived, hobbies not developed, places never visited.
Being clear with your money and developing a healthy relationship with it creates an alchemical soil in which possibilities can take root and flourish.
Learning how to be in control of money and becoming financially empowered are about learning to harness your life force, which can take you anywhere. And you’ll always feel there is a choice.
What seeds will YOU find growing in your healthy financial soil?
Look for them. Ask yourself, what would you explore if you felt totally in control of your finances?
This article is based on Mikelann Valterra‘s latest book, Rise Above the Money Fog—The key to confidence, clarity, and control over your life. The book explores the hidden impact of money fog in our lives through the stories of four women, the psychology of where money fog comes from, and what it takes to rise above it. To order, see www.riseabovethemoneyfog.com
