At fifty-one, Christine was tired of being stressed about money.
She had worked as a corporate coach since her early thirties. Now, it was coming on almost two decades that she had worked with large companies on organizational change. She was very good at her job and generally felt she was well paid. Her income had grown over the years. But at night when sleep refused to come, she’d worry about the future. Would she always have to work so many hours? Would she be able to pull back and enjoy her garden more? Images of her old, faded couch came to mind. She loved being at home, her sweet nest, but the couch she really wanted cost thousands. And her son was asking for ski lessons, another big expense. She kept avoiding talking about it with him. And how about a real vacation?…
She felt fear over the future, overwhelm about figuring out how to afford her increasingly expensive life, and guilt over not giving her son what she thought could be a healthy activity for him. Income, outgo—how to get it all to work? Her mind whirling, sleep did not come.
Fear, Overwhelm, Guilt. F.O.G.
Christine was suffering from money fog.
What is money fog? At its simplest, it’s the feelings of stress and anxiety caused by financial vagueness.
More specifically, it’s when we feel fear, overwhelm, and/or guilt (F.O.G.) as a result of being out of touch with the money in our life—in other words, not being clear, confident, and in control of the money coming in and going out.
Said another way, the money fog is the feelings caused by being financially hazy.
Are you in a money fog? Let’s find out.
Here are ten questions to help you discern if you are in a money fog. Circle yes or no:
- Do you ever feel frustrated and wonder, “Where did it all go?” YES or NO
- Do you feel fear or anxiety when you think of your money? YES or NO
- Do you ever feel guilty when you reflect on something you bought? YES or NO
- Do you know where all your money really goes? For example, do you know what you spend on clothes, eating out, and vacations? Do you know what your home really costs you? YES or NO
- Do you have a system for tracking what you spend? YES or NO
- Do you know how much money you need each month to live comfortably and avoid consumer debt? YES or NO
- Do you know how much money you need to earn annually to cover the entire year in a satisfying way, including retirement savings? YES or NO
- Do you know your net worth? YES or NO
- Do you feel in control of your personal finances? YES or NO
- Does money feel like a sacred tool to help you create your best life? YES or NO
Count the number of “yes” answers for questions 1–3. Answer _____
Count the number of “no” answers for questions 4-10. Answer _____
Add the numbers. If your score is more than 4, you are likely suffering from some level of money fog.
While I hope you’re happy with your score, chances are you identify with some level of money fog. The dilemma with money fog is that people can often only identify it by the hidden impact it has on their life.
When we are in a fog, we are not fully aware of it. We sense things are dim. And we will drive slowly if we are in a fog, trying to avoid hitting something, barely able to see the road ahead of us. We do not excitedly plan the adventures ahead of us if we are driving in a fog. Rather, it takes all our internal resources merely to cling to the road and try to keep safe. But it’s not until we drive out of the fog that we become aware of just how thick it is.
Money fog is essentially a cloud sitting on the ground of our lives—a murky condition that reduces visibility. When we’re unclear about what we can afford or how much we really need to earn, this fog causes confusion, frustration, and bewilderment. Money fog also keeps us from seeing what might be possible further down the road.
Think about it like flow.
The money fog arises when you aren’t in touch with the FLOW of money. This flow is like a tide coming in and going out. Income comes in: earned income, rental income, child support, trust income, dividend income, and so on. Expenses go out. Oh the outgo of expenses! From monthly expenses like groceries and utility bills to the never-ending pop of “periodic expenses” such as airplane tickets, car repairs, and home remodels. Are you clear about this flow? Are you in charge of it, or is it just happening? Are you confident in how you handle this flow? Do you feel in control of your money and your life? Or are you sometimes overwhelmed by the flow?
Money as a sacred resource
As a rule, women don’t really care about money for the sake of money. It’s not a game in which we enjoy keeping score and stockpiling money for the sake of looking at it. Rather, it’s about what we can do with this resource. Yes, money is a sacred resource, and yes, it is energy and power. It is a potent energy with the power to give you what you truly desire in life. However, it is not about the money but rather what you can do with it. Money can help us live our dreams, deeply enjoy our life, take care of our children, secure our future, and donate to causes that touch our heart. This is the power of money. And money fog blocks this power.
You want to use this power to live your best life. When you feel stressed and depleted, which the money fog causes, it’s harder to attend to deeper matters like your spiritual growth. When you’re trying to relax into meditation after your yoga practice and you find yourself “running numbers” in your head or making a mental note to transfer money between accounts, these thoughts and worries are not very conducive to higher states.
When you feel financially constricted, overwhelmed, or stressed, these feelings can affect you emotionally and spiritually, robbing you of energy. The money fog also stifles inspiration. When money causes stress or simply takes up a lot of headspace, your creativity can become blocked. It is more difficult to write, paint, dance, and express yourself in the world when you are engulfed in the money fog.
But it does not have to be this way. Naming a problem goes a long way towards solving it. Once you realize you are in a money fog, you can begin to rise above it.
We all deserve to step into living fuller lives—filled with meaning, joy, and purpose. Once out of the fog, people can more easily step into new chapters, explore their own purpose, and entertain new adventures and possibilities in their lives. Without the money fog clinging to us and obscuring our vision, we can finally see new paths before us.
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This article is based on Mikelann Valterra‘s latest book, Rise Above the Money Fog—The key to confidence, clarity, and control over your life. The book explores the hidden impact of money fog in our lives through the stories of four women, the psychology of where money fog comes from, and what it takes to rise above it. To order, see www.riseabovethemoneyfog.com
