I can’t be the only woman who’s dealt with the blues, right? I’m going to take a guess and say you’ve dealt with them too. From dealing with full on depression to just feeling down every so often, no one feels great all the time.
And one common way that women (and men too but I’m talking to women in this article) make themselves feel better is to hit the mall. Now shopping is not just about relieving depression. We shop for entertainment, to spend time with friends, and to buy things that we need. But there is an interesting thing about shopping – it really DOES make us feel better sometimes. It isn’t your imagination. And why? Because shopping can literally release a “feel good” chemical into your brain.
Dopamine is a neurochemical that gets released when something is new, novel, exciting or unexpected (in a good way). It’s also released when we are rewarded in some way or when something is just plain pleasurable. It’s a great chemical! We all have it and we all need it. And we all want more of it. (By the way, many anti-depressants work on serotonin, another great neurochemical that helps us stay even and not be depressed. It’s a companion to dopamine, but works differently.)
It’s dopamine that gets squirted into your brain when you enjoy that moist piece of chocolate cake, or scratch a winning lottery ticket or go to the casino and hit a sting of luck. It’s a powerful drug.
And it’s this chemical that can be released when you go shopping. Let’s think about shopping for a moment: you are hunting for a great deal, you don’t know when or if you are going to find it…and when you do find something (get rewarded) it’s likely new or novel, at least in that moment. You hunt and hunt, hoping for that great score until… At last! The perfect pair of blue suede shoes at DSW, on sale, in your size. YES! Dopamine!!!
Logically, when you’re down you naturally want to get more of this feel good chemical. Wandering the mall is quick and easy, it can make you feel better, AND it can be dangerous to your wallet.
So this all begs the question: “What are healthier ways to boost dopamine that don’t bust your wallet?” If you research how to boost this feel good chemical, you’ll find lists that include: exercising, laughter, getting plenty of sleep and eating the right foods with specific suggestions.
Now I’m not saying this isn’t a great list. But I also get depressed just looking at it. When I’m down, and someone says, “Don’t go the mall. You should eat better, exercise and get plenty of sleep!” I want to smack them and then go lay on my couch…just saying.
If you disagree with my reaction, that’s great!
If you’re on the same page, here are five ways I’ve boosted my feel good chemicals when I’ve been down that are frankly more FUN. Notice these things were either 1) new or novel to me, 2) just plain pleasurable, 3) had some element of “hunting” for something and being rewarded, or 4) a combination. And most were not free, but they did fit within my plan for spending.
1. I decided to host an appetizer party because I was in need of more friend/social time. I am not a great cook, so I had a great time “hunting” for a new appetizer to make. I bought an appetizer book at Half Price Books (hunted for it) and then I hunted through it for two nights and decided on some exotic new appetizers to try out on Friday night. It was a fun party!
2. My mom and I hosted a women’s poker night with a twenty dollar buy in. I know I can’t lose more than twenty dollars, and you can already see my little neurons fire as I try to increase my pile of chips. Bonus: hanging out with these women is a ton of fun. (Maybe I’ll become a better player… Who can say?)
3. My friend found a Groupon for a stained glass class. I’ve always been curious about this beautiful art and taking a class like this is totally new and novel.
4. I called up one of my girlfriends and set up a “shopper” appointment. She came to my house and spent the evening going through my clothes, shoes and jewelry, and put together five new outfits for me. It was a blast, and it totally got me out of some clothing ruts. I did the same for her the following month. Did I mention it was a total blast? And FREE??
5. Consignment hunting. Yes, I realize this is shopping, but the point is to feel good and live your financial life in balance. And it’s likely that you really may need to buy some clothes at some point. Again, this is not about spending zero money. I like shopping for clothes and completing an outfit, so sometimes I shop in consignment stores. The prices are a fraction of the mall prices. I can hunt and be rewarded, without breaking the bank.
Again, this is not about not spending. It’s about spending your time, money and energy on things that you value (Among my values are time with friends, family, and nice outfits) while not spending more than you can afford. Wandering the mall when you are down is just plain dangerous. You end up spending too much money on things you don’t really need. So while it acts as temporary pick-me-up, you often end up feeling worse when the bills pile up. (And this has a tendency to turn into an ongoing downward spiral.)
Instead of simply fighting your inclination for a pick-me-up by hitting the mall, try taking it in another direction. You deserve to feel better. I want you to feel great.
So what else can you do that is pleasurable? What ideas do you have to boost your own feel-good chemicals? Care to share?
Want more help transforming your relationship to money? Check out all the eBooks, audios, and more robust products Mikelann has created. Are you ready to break free of the “money fog” and step into earning what you are worth? Are you are ready to get in touch with your emotions so you never feel out of control around money again? Are you ready to love your financial life? Let Mikelann help you get there. Free items are at the top of the page.
