Note- I originally published this article years ago when my son was ten years old, and have updated it because my new book, How to Set and Raise Your Fees—a heart-centered guide for coaches, counselors, and consultants, comes out in September 2024. See end to be notified of book release and classes.(This is a picture of me holding the original cover of the book from 2006.  That was me 18 years ago!)

By Mikelann Valterra

On Friday I took my ten-year-old son in for a doctor’s visit. It’s a very busy office. As we were walking down the hallway, he asked me, “Mom, how much does this cost?” I replied without really thinking, “Oh- probably about a hundred dollars.” (Thankfully I do have insurance!) To which he fairly yelled:

“This costs a HUNDRED BUCKS? NO WAY!!”

And of course, all the heads turned our way as our nurse quickly hustled us into our little room for our 15-minute visit.

I then proceeded to tell my son that the doctor had gone to medical school and paid a lot for her education, putting in many years honing her abilities. And that hundred dollars also helped pay the nurses. And the building had to pay rent and buy all those supplies. Of course, by this time he was engrossed in examining the medical equipment pinned to the wall.

But since I still have YOUR attention, let’s think about us—do we charge enough money to really cover all our costs, including all the time, energy and money we’ve put into becoming who we are?

When you think about pricing, you may be overly fixated on charging for your time. Of course you need to charge enough for that hour of your life that you just gave to someone. And you also need to charge enough to cover all your other costs such as your web development and paying your assistant.

You need to charge enough to cover your prep time as well.

It’s not just about your face-to-face time with clients.

I walk into my office at 8am and open all my client files for that day. As a money coach I have a lot of interesting and engaging clients. I remind myself where we were last time, and I formulate a game plan for our upcoming session (knowing that any game plan may get thrown out the window depending on what they bring in with them!)  This takes time. And good coffee.

But pricing correctly goes beyond this. I have years of experience. At this point, I rarely come across something that I haven’t seen before, and I draw on this past experience. It’s not just book knowledge. Sometimes I go with my gut in deciding when it’s time to broach certain subjects such as someone’s past money history or what is really going on with their spending. The hour they spend with me is built on many years that came before that hour.

What about you? You are the sum of your experience and I know that you bring this experience to bear in your work, as you should.

An hour of our time is never just an hour. What about all the hours it took you to arrive at this hour?

The hour you spend with a client likely represents countless hours honing your craft.

What about all your training, the classes you have taken, the reading you have done? You have honed your skill, and this is worth a lot of money. It may take five minutes to solve a client’s problem. But it may have taken you five years to get to the point where you can do that.

And no, you don’t have to be perfect. Let go of being perfect. Stop living in fear of not being able to answer a client’s question. You’ll never know it all. You’ll never be perfect. But you are still worth charging a lot of money. You have a lot of wisdom, experience and insight that comes from your past. This is huge. Do you use these things to help your clients get the results they want? Of course!

So ask yourself: Are the results your clients getting worth more than what they are paying you? If the answer is yes, then stop doubting yourself. And raise your fees 10% right now.  Because it’s about more than that hour. You have a whole lifetime that has brought you here.

Claim all of who you are. This is worth a lot.

~~~

Please email Mikelann (mikelann@womenearning.com) if you want to be notified of when her new book comes out, How to Set and Raise Your Fees: A heart-centered guide for coaches, counselors, and consultants. She will also let you know about upcoming classes related to this book.

Remember that “underearning” is the pattern of earning below YOUR potential. It’s about underselling yourself, even though you don’t want to. But you can’t overcome this pattern if you don’t see it. You must identify your pattern- your behaviors– in the first place. Women tend to see each situation in isolation—it is time to connect the dots.

I want you to take a step back and look back through your career. Look at the last 10 or 20 years. Do you see a pattern of earning less money than you need? If you have made “enough” money, do you think you’ve been earning at your true potential? Have you been thriving?

Here are 7 common ways that self-employed women undersell themselves. Do you identify with any of these? Remember, you have to identify your pattern before you can step into great prosperity.

7 Common symptoms of underearning

1. You set your original fees too low (lower than a man would have!)—often because you felt you were too new or inexperienced…
2. You struggle telling your clients you are going to raise your fees (you fear you’ll lose your clients or you worry they will feel that you think money is more important than people.)
3. When you do raise your fees, you don’t raise them by enough money, and hence always feel behind.
4. You did not negotiate your commission structure/ contract —or didn’t push it as much as a man would have
5. You discount your services in a variety of ways and often times don’t bill for all of your time
6. You often give a lot away for free—free advice, free consultations, free help
7. While working hard, you don’t market yourself enough. You don’t spend enough time making sure you are highly visible

Do any of these ring a bell?

As you can see, there are countless ways that women “underearn” though often times it is about what they don’t do. Did you notice that a lot of underearning is passive, as opposed to active? We just never say anything….

Women work hard and value their relationships with their colleagues and their clients. Underearning can slip in, silently, by simply not doing what needs to be done. You don’t have the negotiation conversation, or the fee conversation. You just don’t ask for what you need and want. Hence, a lot of underearning quietly saps your energy and strength over time.

Take heart! It is possible to earn more.

But step number one to conquering underearning is naming it. (In order to break a pattern you must identify the pattern.) Yes, it can be overwhelming to get in touch with this. Grief commonly comes up. And we can get mad at ourselves when we look at this. But please know that you are not alone. This is a very common, though often hidden, phenomena. It’s time to break the isolation around this issue. You are an amazing woman doing great work, and I believe it is possible to make more money.

Be gentle with yourself as you continue to look at this. Trust that this is the perfect time to address this issue. How wonderful to look at this now and not in another five or ten years. Earning your worth is a process. Give yourself credit for stepping into this process.

Start talking about underearning with your women friends and colleagues. Do they undersell themselves? (Somehow it is easier to see in other people! We just tend to stew in our own growing resentment.) Start writing about this. Keep reading about this.

Be willing to be uncomfortable. Author Barbara Stanny wrote that the number one prerequisite to making more money is the willingness to be uncomfortable. I agree with her. If you wait until you are perfectly comfortable telling people what you charge, for example, you will wait too long. Be willing to stretch. It gets easier. And then you move to the next level.

For now, start noticing your own pattern.

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

I found this video I recorded a few years back and wanted to share it with you, as I think it’s helpful in understanding “underearning”. Because even if you make $100,000, you could still be underselling yourself. Really! So in these four minutes, I talk about many myths around earning money. For example-  the connection between working hard and making money. Did you know that many “underearners” work their tails off and still often underearn?! And yes, you can be amazing at what you do and still underearn. So what the heck is one to do? I recorded this to get you thinking, so you could begin to shift your pattern.

Mikelann is a money coach with over 20 years’ experience, helping women escape the money fog, feel more in control of their finances and love their financial life. If you are ready to leave money stress behind and design a life you love, please see www.seattlemoneycoach.com and read about this life changing work.  Once there, grab her free eBook on how to stop worrying about money.

Most of us don’t think about our earning power when we marry. Our lives are full of many to-dos beyond career— from maintaining a home (and relationship) to caring for our children.

But, when divorce happens, we are often awash in fear and confusion, since this life event can mark the first time in a potentially long while that we will have to manage our personal finances (and pay our bills) on our own.

Often, we do not have the financial resources to maintain the lifestyle we potentially took for granted during our married years. Earning issues eventually come up when you no longer have a partner who can contribute to the monthly expenses.

Said another way, you can’t afford to be an “underearner” in your new life. Underearning is sometimes defined as the pattern of earning less than you need or below your true earning potential. This pattern often gets masked while married since you may not have been the sole bread winner or, perhaps, you even stayed home to maintain your household.

Are You an Underearner?

Under-earning can be particularly problematic for women, as research shows they still earn only 82 cents for every dollar a man earns. This wage gap is truly a silent epidemic — countless amazing women earn far below their potential, whether they are married or single. Even more frustrating, this epidemic knows no professional boundaries; it affects consultants, doctors, therapists and entrepreneurs.

Sometimes women in lucrative professions don’t see themselves as underearners because they know others don’t view them that way. But just because you “should” be making a lot of money doesn’t mean you do. Here’s a quick quiz to find out if you may be an underearner.

• Do you earn at the low end of the scale for your industry?
• Have you decided not to ask for a raise or not to raise your fees for more than two years?
• Are you unsure of exactly how much money you need to earn?
• Are you dealing with deprivation — no decent vacations, no money for home/auto repairs or extra cash to treat yourself?
• Are you experiencing a pattern of feeling overworked and underpaid?
• Do you know in your gut you could make more?

If you find yourself answering yes to these questions, then, chances are, you should — and could — be making more money. With this in mind, here are three items to think about as you focus on increasing your earnings.

1. Determine How Much Money You Need

Take the time to think carefully about how much you actually need to earn. I’ve helped many women craft a spending and income plan for their new life that addresses new expenses. Often I have women track their spending for a while before creating this plan, so we can see where their money is actually going. We also look at any potential new forms of income, such as child support and spousal maintenance, in determining what needs to be earned.

You may want to consider tracking your spending to get a deeper sense of what you actually need. This information can help you make many decisions about your finances from what type of job you are looking for to deciding if you will keep the house, and how to address certain expenses. You don’t want too much financial pressure as you rebuild your new life.

2. Research What Constitutes a Competitive Salary in Your Field

When thinking about applying for work, asking for raises or getting contract jobs, you may want to research what you can command. Don’t trust your gut; women may de-value their work and often don’t ask for enough money. Divorced women may be even more prone to doing so, since they may have taken a break from the workforce during marriage.

Let the market guide you. Trust me: An employer is extremely lucky to have you. It’s in your best interest to make sure you do your research about what a good one will pay. Some websites can help you gauge what competitive salaries in your field are and you can also talk to knowledgeable friends about what they think you should ask for before formally accepting an offer. You are likely worth more than you feel.

3. Don’t Worry About Being Behind  

You may want to stop worrying about being “behind.” In my role as a money coach, l’ve talked with many clients over the years that lament making less than their male counterparts. While this may be the case, you don’t have to let under-earning in the past hold your future salaries back. Keep in mind, many women hit their career strides later than men — and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Women in all phases of life can be extremely powerful. We are like a mighty phoenix rising from ashes and are capable of commanding a lot of money and respect.

I’ve seen many women, post-divorce, create amazing lives for themselves and their families. If you value yourself and what you do, know what you need to earn and research what you can command, you can make enough money to alleviate financial stress. More than that, you can create an amazing life that you love. Your new life is waiting.

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

As a money coach, I work with women on how to transform their relationship to money. We look at how we spend, our debt and savings, and how to feel in control of our personal finances. And sometimes, we need to increase our income. Because with more money comes greater freedom, self-care and the ability to create the lifestyle of our own choosing. 

So if you would like to focus solely on earning more money—and let go of old patterns, thoughts and beliefs that have held you back and learn the tools and tricks on how to earn more–   my ten week program may be a great fit for you. (Here is my link to my two minute video about it.)

Years ago, I struggled with how to earn my worth. When I entered the workforce, I worked very, very hard. But I didn’t earn what I could have…

I didn’t know how much to ask for when I got a new position. And I was uncomfortable asking for a raise. When I had my own clients, I was uncertain what to charge them and worried terribly about raising their fees. (I worried that if I asked for more, my boss would balk, or it would harm our relationship. I worried my clients would leave if I charged too much money.)

Looking back, I had no idea I was “underearning”. I certainly didn’t realize my financial expectations were set so low. But I did get to the point where I resented how hard I worked for the money that I brought in. 

And truthfully, I had some conflicting feelings about wealthy people and those who earned what I thought was a lot of money. 

Mostly, I just worked hard, was really good at what I did, and just assumed that I would be noticed and somehow rewarded for my work.

Over the years, I began to study women and money, and “underearning” in particular. I began to understand the emotional and psychological connections behind why women undersell themselves. I realized that most women struggled with the same issues as me.

I realized that we women almost always sell ourselves short when it comes to asking for what we deserve.

In 2004, I wrote and published Why Women Earn Less: How to Make What You’re Really Worth (Career Press). This book looks at the psychological reasons behind why women undersell themselves (and often don’t realize it!) as well as gives them practical advice. Over the last few years, this book has been translated internationally, from Chinese to Korean, to Hebrew.

In 2010, I was hit with an unexpected divorce (as so many are) and I was left emotionally and financially devastated. As I shared in the last newsletter, I had no home, decimated retirement accounts, nothing but my skills and determination as a money coach. This was an opportunity to put my lessons to the ultimate test. Over the next year, I used every skill I possessed and developed new tools and tricks along the way to unlock my own earning power.  I’m proud to say that within one year, I saved enough to buy a home for my son and I, and started rebuilding my retirement accounts. (My story is here if you missed it.)

I’ve realized what a cord I struck, when I finally shared my story. So many of us want to earn more—and indeed- need to earn more.  And all of us want to earn at our potential.

My new 10 week program includes the tips and tricks I have refined in more than a decade of work—tested by thousands of women, including myself. And I’ve put it together in a super accessible way to unlock YOUR earning power. 

Click here to Unlock Your Earning Power Program 

In this 10-week program, we dive deep into the three essential areas that have a direct impact on your ability to earn more money:

Clarity: How to get exquisitely clear on what you should be making.

Confidence: How to ask for what you’re worth with confidence and skill. 

Core Causes: How to identify, understand and transform the patterns, thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back.

This program is unique and so effective because it does more than just teach you new skills. 

You will identify and let go of the old patterns, thoughts, and beliefs that have previously made it impossible for you to ask for, receive, and expect the income you want and deserve.

If you are ready to:

• Be generously compensated and recognized for your work.
• Have a firm confidence in your worth, making it easy to ask for what you deserve.
• Know how to raise your rates or negotiate your salary without resistance.
• Revel in a renewed sense of energy, enthusiasm, and eagerness for your work.
• Always stay on top of your pay scale and earn top-dollar in your chosen field.
• Experience the freedom and joy of living your ideal lifestyle now, while also investing in dreams for the future.

Then please consider this ten week program. 

Click here to Unlock Your Earning Power Program 

How it works

Each week you’ll receive a:

• weekly inspirational / thought provoking email
• 45-minute MP3 you can listen to in your car, on a walk, etc. 
• short handout with exercises for you and complimentary articles
• mid-week check in to help keep you going

Listen, you’re good enough right now—just as you are—to be making a lot more money, enjoying an ideal working situation, and a comfortable, wonderful lifestyle.

So take this next step towards realizing your earning potential, making top-dollar in your field of expertise, and enjoying a life free of compromise when it comes to money.

Invest in yourself and your ability to create an amazing, prosperous life….now and in the future.

Click here to Unlock Your Earning Power Program

Want more help transforming your relationship to money? Check out all the eBooks, audios, and more robust products Mikelann has created. Are you ready to break free of the “money fog” and step into earning what you are worth? Are you are ready to get in touch with your emotions so you never feel out of control around money again? Are you ready to love your financial life? Let Mikelann help you get there. Free items are at the top of the page.

True Confession: As a money coach, I’ve struggled with my own issues around money. (Gasp!) Never was it more painful for me than after my divorce. In the end, I was able to learn from that experience and create a lot of amazing help for you to step into your own earning potential. But I’ve never shared my story. I think that until now, five years later, it was simply too hard of a story for me to tell.

As I was working through the process of putting together my new unlock your earning power program (which I am very excited about!) I had to revisit this time in my life. And, after some thoughtful reflection, I decided it was time to finally share the real story of where I was just a few short years ago. I offer it here so you know that you are not alone. And if I can survive and thrive, you can too.

Up from the Ashes – My Divorce and Rebirth 

I awoke with a start, temporarily forgetting where I was. Then it all flooded back to me.  With divorce papers not yet dry, I had taken my 9 year old son and found refuge in my mother’s home.

Everything was gone – everything. I was 39 years old, suddenly a single mother, and I had nothing. I possessed no house, decimated retirement accounts, no savings, and I was seven thousand dollars in debt. And, no divorce settlement was coming my way.

I felt like a refugee, still in shock, with my belongings in boxes on the floor of the room I had last inhabited in high school. The shadows of my old teenage music posters seemed to taunt me from the walls. Sadness washed over me, mixed with anger at a future that felt suddenly ripped away.  And I felt a cold, stomach clenching fear at the daunting prospect of rebuilding my financial life from almost nothing, at almost forty.

I thought of my young son. Down the hall he slept in a small, hastily cleaned out room. He needed a stable home, a yard to play in, and a mom who wasn’t overwhelmed. This was all like a bad time warp, or just a very bad dream that I would surely awaken from soon.

I laid back and cried.

Later, when my mind calmed, I assessed the situation and thought about what I did have. I was a money coach, and beyond the shame of a money coach who currently had no money and a negative net worth (I kept my story and situation quiet, as the emotional upheaval was so great that I could not speak about it), I did have skills that I could use. Though divorce had robbed me of so much, I knew I was good with managing my money – if I had any. And while my emotions felt out of control in this tsunami of change, I was equipped to avoid overspending, and plan where I needed my money to go.

But…I needed more money.

And the thought of being a paid boarder living with her mother for the rest of her adult life depressed me…so I needed to move quickly.

In my professional life, I had written about “underearning” and how women undersold themselves.  And now that it was all up to me, it was time to put my teachings to the ultimate test. No longer was this an academic subject.

Forget “underearning”- I was literally living in a bedroom. I had to step into financial success in a big way.

So I set out to bring my income up. Over the next year, I used every skill I possessed and I developed new tools and tricks along the way to unlock my own earning power.

From tapping into how I had undersold myself in the past so I could avoid it, to learning the skills to ask for what I needed, I learned how to attract more of what I deserved. I improved my negotiation skills. I assessed my private practice fees and marketing.  And I dove deep into the metaphysics of money. I realized I was operating under a whole host of beliefs that had kept me from taking my income to the next level.

In one year I had paid off the debt left from the divorce. I built up my savings that had been wiped out. And I saved up for a down payment on my very own home—and then found and bought a house! I even restarted my retirement accounts.  Yes, I did this in one year.

It was also the year I crossed the threshold of becoming a six-figure woman.

Exactly twelve months after waking up in my old high school bedroom, my son and I rode in the front of a moving truck, leading the crew to this new home that I bought on my own – with no husband and no money from anyone else.

I will never forget the day we moved in. My son ran around the rooms in delight, loudly proclaiming that his bedroom was his new castle. I lay on the floor of my empty living room and looked up at the trees that grew on the property I now owned. I felt like I had a personal, beautiful forest. I lay there for a long time watching the wind move through the branches.  I felt in control of my life and my future and a deep sense of peace and calm spread through me.

Today, it is five years later. I have rebuilt my retirement to where it was before my divorce. And I love my home as only a woman can – a nest that heals and provides me a retreat from the world. Next month I am breaking ground on a major remodel. And next year I have plans to build a second home for rental income.  Life is very good.

After working through this journey, I created a course that captured all the years I had been teaching women how to earn more, that also incorporated all of the new techniques I had learned and practiced. And it is time I shared these powerful thoughts about how I unlocked my earning power – with you.

I was recently interviewed on Debbie Whitlock’s Femme Finance radio show.

Together we explored how to earn more money and combat your inner “Good Girl”. We talked about the different ways that people “underearn” as well as some of the differences between men and women. We also dove into “noble poverty” and why some people struggle to break through their own earning ceilings. And of course we discussed how to earn more- how to make the emotional shift around earning more as well as practical ways to really go for it. Ready to break free? Listen to this jam-packed 30 minute audio. Enjoy!

Want more help transforming your relationship to money? Check out all the eBooks, audios, and more robust products Mikelann has created. Are you ready to break free of the “money fog” and step into earning what you are worth? Are you are ready to get in touch with your emotions so you never feel out of control around money again? Are you ready to love your financial life? Let Mikelann help you get there. Free items are at the top of the page.

Years ago, when I first encountered the term “underearning”, I used the definition of “earning less than you need”. While this is accurate (the pattern of earning less than you need is indeed underearning), it does not describe many women out there. This narrow definition seems to say that the only women who fall into this frustrating pattern are those who “struggle” or are just getting by.

But is it okay to go from surviving to thriving?

I know countless savvy women who don’t see themselves as “strugglers”, but they don’t see themselves as financially abundant either. They make decent money, as relative as that is. And they are really frustrated. Why? Because they know in their minds and their hearts that they could make more. They know, at some level, that they are earning less than their true potential.

Sometimes this is brought home to them by seeing men who do similar work, asking for and receiving far more compensation. Sometimes they have female colleagues who just always seem to make more— money appears to flow easier for them. Oftentimes it is a gut feeling—these women know that the work they do is simply worth more. They get amazing results for their clients. But these results don’t seem to translate into more money.

“Underearning” is simply the pattern of earning less than YOUR potential. It is about the pattern of chronically, but often silently, underselling yourself. (Many women do not consistently ask for the money that they truly deserve. This is the most obvious facet of underearning.)

Underearning knows no professional boundaries. It affects consultants, doctors, therapists and countless women who run their own businesses. Sometime when women are in professions that others think of as lucrative, such as the legal profession, they don’t see themselves as “underearners” because they know others don’t see them that way. But this just increases the sense of isolation and frustration!  Just because you “should” be making a lot of money doesn’t mean you do! I know plenty of lawyers who work really, really hard and still don’t make enough to live the life they long to live. They offer a very valuable service and still many of them earn below their potential.

This is truly a silent epidemic —countless amazing women earn far below their potential, and very few people call this what it is: underearning.

Tons of experienced women are frustrated that their hard work is not yielding more money. These are women who are very good at what they do, but this work and skill does not necessarily bring them the level of financial abundance that they desire and deserve.

What about you?

Take a moment and look back over your career—look back over the last ten, twenty, thirty years – do you see a pattern? Do you see a pattern of repeatedly earning below YOUR potential, or less than you could have earned?  If there is a pattern, as opposed to a one-time occurrence, then it is time to look deeper. It’s not about surviving… it’s about thriving! It’s time that we bring this silent epidemic to light.

Want more help transforming your relationship to money? Check out all the eBooks, audios, and more robust products Mikelann has created. Are you ready to break free of the “money fog” and step into earning what you are worth? Are you are ready to get in touch with your emotions so you never feel out of control around money again? Are you ready to love your financial life? Let Mikelann help you get there. Free items are at the top of the page.