If you’ve ever thought about your “money story”, you may have come up against some paradoxes–conflicting messages about money. And when we are confronted with paradoxes, we often react by simply doing nothing…putting our head in the sand.

The first obvious conflict many women deal with is the message from their families that they should somehow know how to handle money, without being given any training. Did your parents teach you how to plan where you wanted to spend your money? And then analyze what was happening? And then figure out creative ways to get your needs met so you didn’t feel deprived if you didn’t have enough? And they taught you about savings and debt?

I hope you had those parents, but I’ve heard countless stories of people who learned nothing beyond a few conflicting financial platitudes.

• “Don’t go into debt. Here’s a credit card.”
• “You better live within your means (but we won’t teach you how to budget).”
• “Don’t talk about money (but make sure it doesn’t mess up your relationships).”
• “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer (There’s really nothing you can do. It’s all fate. Give up.)”
• “Make sure you can take care of yourself (but we won’t model how to earn your worth).”

Sometimes the opposing messages are stated and sometimes modeled. Sometimes your past messages conflict with your present life. Perhaps, for example, your parents said negative things about wealthy people, so you feel really bad about having wealth, even though you know your parents wanted good things for you.

Maybe they told you to save your money, but spent every dime that came in the door, so you never saw what savings looked like, though you know that somehow you’re supposed to be saving, so you just feel bad that you’re not.

Or maybe a parent never spent on themselves, and you feel bad when you do nice things for yourself, even though you have enough money.

When we are confronted with opposing money beliefs, we often react by cultivating an air of ambivalence around money. We work hard not to care about it and not think about it. We may even secretly feel we should be “above” money. Besides, if we do nothing, then maybe we won’t pick the wrong path.

The key is to begin to name the conflicting money beliefs. Then you can consciously move forward. As long as you are not aware of the conflict, you will likely feel unbalanced about money.

So what are your paradoxes? What conflicting messages have you inherited?

Want more help transforming your relationship to money? Check out all the eBooks, audios, and more robust products Mikelann has created. Are you ready to break free of the “money fog” and step into earning what you are worth? Are you are ready to get in touch with your emotions so you never feel out of control around money again? Are you ready to love your financial life? Let Mikelann help you get there. Free items are at the top of the page.

Many times my clients come in stressed and dazed about money. They’ve hit their frustration limit. Sometimes they feel out of control around money and sometimes they are simply tired of not knowing if they’ll have enough money- at the end of the month, or the year….

And I hear a lot of “I’m a smart woman- why can’t I figure this out?!”

After hearing their story, one thing I tell them is that they need to create a “Personal Money Practice”, and I will help them develop it. It will change their life. So are they willing to try something different?

And they vigorously shake their heads yes.

Let go of the “B” word!

Now, before you start thinking about that dreaded “B” word– budget, don’t go there! I hate budgets. They tend to sound like “diet”- and many people fear they will feel deprived. Budgeting can make you feel like you’re living on leftovers, after you’ve paid everyone else. Yuck.

A personal money practice is made up of creating a road map for getting where you want to go, and then being able to easily adjust your map as real life happens. It’s about getting your needs and wants met and taking even better care of yourself. It’s about letting go of stress. And it’s a personal growth journey.

Do you mean “practice” like “spiritual practice”?

Kind of.

Like all practices- spiritual practice (meditation), or physical practice (daily walk), a practice is simply the regular performance of some activity, undertaken for the purpose of bringing one greater harmony and peace.  A practice can be five minutes a day (such as what I’m advocating you do with your money) or an hour a day, like a vigorous workout.

But all great practices are designed to walk you down a path towards a goal. How about a goal of less stress, more finance peace, more enjoyment of life now and knowing your future is secured? Wow- great goals. Are you willing to develop a new practice to move you down this path?

So why doesn’t everyone have a Personal Money Practice?

The most common reason is that people simply don’t know how. And really, who teaches us this stuff? Raise your hand if your parents taught you, in a loving and sane way, how to feel good and responsible about your finances.

For many of us, the whole notion of managing money is emotionally charged. Money IS very emotional. Why pretend otherwise? And we all have our own money story that impacts us. Often times our story comes from childhood, influencing our adult behavior around money.  (For example, people raised with little money may re-create this state as an adult OR they rebel against their deprived childhood and tend to overspend. A situation may trigger them- reminding them of times long ago.) The point is that money can feel very emotional. This is normal. A personal money practice allows you to navigate these emotions.

I also often hear that people are worried about how much time it will take to handle their money. And it is true, it takes time. I won’t lie about this. Worthwhile endeavors take time and energy. However, once people get going with their PMP, they are very pleasantly surprised that they can stay on top of their financial life by putting five minutes a day into their “practice”.

Seriously. In as little as 5 minutes a day, you can take control of your money, design your financial future and put an end to your money worries …. once and for all.

Time to exit the money fog and so much more!

If you engage in a personal money practice you will exit the dreaded money fog and begin to feel in control of your life in a way you never thought possible.  Practically speaking, your practice will allow you to see how much money you’ll have at the end of the month. And when “life happens”- car repairs, unexpected travel—you can easily adjust your plan.

But it’s more than this.  A money practice keeps you grounded and balanced around money. Your spending triggers subside and the urge to spend to make yourself feel better (retail therapy anyone?) abates.

A personal money practice helps you see how you are taking care of yourself. It helps you get your needs met. And it means that not only are YOU okay, the woman you will be in twenty years is okay too. Wow.

Want to go deeper with this idea? Join me for a 5-week teleclass “Create a Personal Money Practice” starting January 31st. Click here for more details.

Want more help transforming your relationship to money? Check out all the eBooks, audios, and more robust products Mikelann has created. Are you ready to break free of the “money fog” and step into earning what you are worth? Are you are ready to get in touch with your emotions so you never feel out of control around money again? Are you ready to love your financial life? Let Mikelann help you get there. Free items are at the top of the page.

Every year in January I write about creating an annual spending plan. The metaphor I’ve used in past years is looking into your own “crystal ball” to see the future. (A few years ago I wrote this: Look Into Your Crystal Ball) And indeed, creating a spending plan for the whole year does allow you to see where you will end the year, before it starts. “If I spend this and earn that, I’ll have this much at the end of the year.”

So here is a different metaphor: what if you had a magic road map? And what if this road map told you how to get to your destination — no debt, more fun experiences this year, and more savings perhaps??? AND it magically helped you come up with alternate routes throughout the year when you found your way blocked?

Last year I created my personal magic road map. I sat down a year ago and “mapped” out last year. I looked first at what I needed and wanted for the year. (Here’s my post on creating your needs/wants list: How to Create Your Own Needs and Wants List) I needed some work done on my house and the orthodontist was knocking on our door. I wanted to upgrade my wardrobe and do more travel. I wanted to fund my ROTH. So a year ago I came up with a workable plan.

Then throughout this past year, life threw me some curve balls. Life has away of doing that, you know. It became apparent that I had to get my son far more involved in an after school activity. He’s become a young teenager (danger Will Robinson). So we joined Crew – and now he rows five days a week for our local team. It’s a somewhat expensive sport, complete with some travel, so I had to bring other costs down to accommodate for it. But my magic road map allowed me to easily adjust. I did buy more clothes this year. Hurray! The house had different work done than I had anticipated though. Houses have a way of doing that. But I got my needs met and refused to compromise on my favorite wants – hair coloring and lawn help.

Actually, I may have reclassified hair coloring as a need and not a want. Yes, I could color my own hair, but I’ve decided professional help is a NEED since that bathroom color-stain incident.

The point is that my road map did indeed get me to the end of last year, in reasonably good shape, and with a minimum of financial stress. I felt in control, even as various roadblocks popped up. I was able to course-correct and navigate around them.

So I sat down last weekend and began mapping out the new year. I feel calm, in control and at peace. It’s magic.

Want more help transforming your relationship to money? Check out all the eBooks, audios, and more robust products Mikelann has created. Are you ready to break free of the “money fog” and step into earning what you are worth? Are you are ready to get in touch with your emotions so you never feel out of control around money again? Are you ready to love your financial life? Let Mikelann help you get there. Free items are at the top of the page.

Every year I write about creating a holiday spending plan. And it IS a good subject. The bottom line is that if you create a plan- list out who you are going to gift, your ideas, and the cost, and then add it up, it becomes a great roadmap for the holidays—you have less stress and more money. So here is my link to last year’s post. (How to create a Holiday Spending Plan post.)

This year I want to ask a question– is it time to do something different? The holidays are a huge “production” for many people. And it can be quite expensive, from decorating and travel to holiday outings and gifts. Many families have rituals around gift giving that haven’t changed in years. And people do need time to think about changing a ritual or tradition. So I submit to you that Thanksgiving may be a great time to bring up potential changes with your family.

This year, I had been mulling in my mind the idea of exchanging fewer gifts at the large family dinner we do each year. So when I emailed my sister about the Thanksgiving plans, I mentioned in my email that I’d love to talk about shifting how we exchanged gifts, at some point on Thanksgiving Day. She sent me back an immediate enthusiastic reply. My mother, who was copied on these emails, chimed in: “Well, if we’re going to give fewer gifts, you guys have to promise you’ll play some games on Christmas because I want to make sure we spend enough time together.”

My mother knew that part of our gift giving ritual was a way to spend time with each other- I come from a family that has a long drawn out gifting ritual. Each person takes a turn opening a gift while everyone pays attention. The gift may cost only ten dollars, but everyone watches. It’s a ritual we’ve repeated for decades.

So now we are thinking of doing something new. And the family knows we’ll talk about it at Thanksgiving.

Here are some ideas for your family to ponder:

Gift Limit– this is the obvious one, and many adults welcome it. What if there was simply a pre-arranged limit, so you knew that you were supposed to bring one gift (not two or three) for certain people?

Drawing Names– an oldie but goodie. Adults love this one too. On Thanksgiving everyone puts their name in a hat and then draws a name out. Then there is a limit set on how much you can spend. This is an important part of the “game”.

Give a family gift instead of individual gifts. It depends on how many people are at your gathering, but your extended family may welcome this idea.

Decide to only do gifts for children.

Edible gift idea: Decide to only gift things that are edible or drinkable and set a price limit. Adults LOVE this one.

Play White Elephant at the family gathering. This is a very fun and silly game and the entire extended family will LOVE it. And it’s about presents!! When I was growing up, this is what we played at the extended gatherings that had 30+ people. (Yes, I come from a large catholic gamily.) Everyone brings one gift- likely something silly (probably re-gifted or found in the garage) —with no name on it. Then you draw numbers and the game begins. Here is a link with directions and rule variations. (White elephant on Wikipedia.) This game involves a lot of shouting, running, trading and laughing. And spilled drinks.

Dollar Store giving—People have been going crazy with stocking gifts. So one idea is to say that stockings can only be stocked with items from the dollar store. (Okay, this one doesn’t fit my list perfectly, but the whole expensive-gift-in-the-stocking drives me crazy.)

I could go on and on. The point though, is to think about your gifting ritual. Do you want to change it? If you do, than Thanksgiving is a great time to open the conversation. Or simply send some emails out to your family. And if you have a small family, than just sit down and talk about new ideas for gifting. What ideas do other people have?

The point is to have fun, craft a gifting ritual that is intentional and create a holiday you love. And wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid that post-holiday spending hangover? Now that’s real holiday magic.

Often, when clients come to see me, they are afraid I will tell them they can’t afford to have something they really want. They fear that they won’t be able to take that vacation to Europe or perhaps they shouldn’t be buying so many clothes.

Now, as a money coach, I’m used to people projecting their hopes and fears on to me. And we navigate as best we can. One of my biggest aims is to bring people to the place where they are not only conscious about what they spend, but they are happy with their spending. Yes, this really is possible!

Like many things, it is about balancing. Yes, I want to save for my safety net. And yes, I want to go to Europe. I love the idea of paying down my credit card, and I love the Nordstrom’s half yearly sale.

Part of this goes to discerning wants vs. needs. (Here is my article on how to do this.) You must focus on your needs first and then bring creativity to satisfying your wants.

Here is another way to think about it. I often look my clients and say: You can have anything you want. However, you can’t have everything you want.

And often, they just sit there and stare at me for a bit. I stare back. It is kind of profound, isn’t it?

So what do you really want? What will you chose to protect? If Europe is what you truly want (and I will assume that you have your safety net savings) then perhaps you are willing to make your wardrobe last another year, replace just the dryer but wait on the new washer, or let go of the landscaping project for now.

What do you really want? What do you want to protect?

I had one couple, when struggling with balancing their annual income and spending plan, decide that what was truly important to them was their Seahawks tickets. They worked hard to protect this- as it gave them immense pleasure and connection with many friends. So knowing they did get to have something they wanted, they cut back on eating out, decided to not travel back east in the summer and found more frugal ways to decorate their new home. They protected the Seahawks. (Which I personally love, being a big fan myself.)

It’s not that they couldn’t eat out more often. They could choose to do that instead. But they wanted those tickets more.

Another client, after coming out of unemployment, was very clear she wanted to protect her safety net she was rebuilding. It had saved her a lot of stress and had helped her avoid credit card debt during a very difficult time, but it was now seriously depleted. What helped her was to think like this: It’s not that I can’t have a new wardrobe. I can do that. However, I want to rebuild this safety net even more. I want to protect this. (I had her cut out a picture of a net under an acrobat, and carry it in her wallet. She looked at this “safety net” when tempted by a bright shiny object.)

What do you want to protect? And what are you willing to let go of or cut back on, so you can truly protect this?

Remember- you can have anything you want. But you can’t have everything you want. So decide—what do you truly want? Then protect it.

Ultimately, one of the most profound issues in healing our relationship to money is being willing to enter into a conversation about needs vs. wants. This subject can be deceptively simple. However, many people are not clear about what they need vs. what they want. So the end result is that they spend a lot on their wants and neglect their needs. And some people neglect both sides, assuming it’s not possible to get their needs OR their wants met.

My mentor Karen McCall writes that when we spend money on our wants before our needs, it is like we are putting up pretty wallpaper in a room that has faulty wiring sticking out. Wow. I keep thinking about that image. Here are some examples:

• We buy lots of plants at the plant sale instead of having the front porch fixed

• We spend money on fancy clothes, but we neglect our teeth.

• We spend money on the new master bathroom, but we neglect our retirement funding.

Did you notice the word “neglect?” What are you neglecting? What are you ignoring that makes you feel depleted or deprived? Deprivation is the opposite of fulfillment, and I want you to feel fulfilled. And when you meet your true needs first, you feel fulfilled. Though you have to know what your needs are, in order to be able to meet them.
Here is what I recommend—Grab a piece of paper and down the very middle of it, start creating a list of needs and wants. Just start writing. Don’t worry if it’s a need or a want. Just dump.

To help you brainstorm, think about these four areas: stuff, services, experiences and feelings.

Stuff—what stuff do I need or want? Boots, a new couch, a better computer, more jewelry, a nicer dining room table, a house

Services—what services do I need or want? I want monthly professional hair coloring, monthly house cleaning, dental work, replace the cracked windshield on my car.

Experiences—what experiences do I need or want? I want more travel. I want more mountain climbing. I want to go to a musical this fall.

Feelings— What feelings do I need or want to have? I want to feel more secure (that might mean more savings), I want to feel more attractive (throw the tummy tuck on the list) I want to feel more confident (there’s the tooth whitening or attractive wool blazer)

And for a final doozy, answer this question: What am I tired of putting up with? I’m tired of that broken porch railing.

Now simply sit with your list and start moving the items to the left or right. Label the left NEED and label the right WANT. For each item, simply ask yourself, “Do I need this or do I want this?” Is this necessary or would this be nice? Will I feel more fulfilled/’right with the world’ with this?

Keep this list with you. Your goal is to attend to your needs first, before your wants. Get creative if you have to. You can do this. When you meet your needs first, you experience a deeper sense of satisfaction than the momentary fulfillment of wants.

TIME TO EARN MORE?

If you would like to earn what you’re truly worth and step into greater abundance, please see Mikelann’s Unlock Your Earning Power toolkit.   Identify what has been holding you back, learn the skills to ask for more and start earning at your true potential. For both self-employed and salaried women.

In the heavy heat of summer, sometimes even I get bogged down with thinking about money. I just want to play. So what do I do? I simply keep tracking. Yep. That’s it. When all else fails, I just track where I’m spending my money. I can always analyze it later, or adjust my plan or delve deeply into my money story. But no matter what, I just keep tracking.

The power of tracking is unbelievable. When people start to track their money, they experience payoffs immediately. It’s about staying conscious. And in fact, many people find that by merely committing to track their transactions, they do a lot less unconscious or impulse spending. Their lives calm down.  At its heart, it’s a simple practice that can change your life.

So here is an article written by Karen McCall, author of Financial Recovery– Developing a Healthy  Relationship with Money. It’s on tracking. Yep- just on tracking.  (And stay tuned for our latest software that integrates your practice of tracking your spending with your monthly—and annual– spending plan.  I’ve been on the software development team with an extraordinary group of money coaches. This tool changes lives. I’ll have it for you this fall.)
   
The Truth About Money:  3 Steps to Track Your Way Out of the Financial Fog
By Karen McCall

Have you ever wondered why casinos make you turn your cash into chips in order to play their games?  Some say it’s for security reasons, but think about it.  If you were tossing real money onto the table, wouldn’t you be much more cautious?  And if the thrill of the game stopped outweighing the disappointment of losing, you might not play at all.

But when you play with colorful chips, it’s so much easier to get lost in a “financial fog,” and become completely detached from the fact that each of those chips cost represents real money.  Unfortunately, even if you’ve never set foot in a casino, you can still be lost in your own financial fog.  Credit cards, ATM’s and even checks become casino chips that distance us from the real consequence of our spending.

Have you ever opened your credit card statement and gasped because the balance was in multiples of what you expected?  Are you only vaguely aware of your current checking and savings balances?  Do you keep stopping at the ATM because your cash seems to just disappear?  These are all indications that you could be in a financial fog.

Tracking Your Way Out of the Financial Fog.

One of the most powerful tools for getting out of your financial fog is tracking.  Simply put, tracking involves noting all the money that comes in and all that goes out.  Every time you spend or receive money, you write it down, whether you’re paying or receiving money with cash, check, or a debit or credit card.  Here’s a simple way to get started.

1. Decide whether you’d like to track manually — that is, by writing your transactions into paper registers — or electronically via applications on your smartphone, PDA or computer.  For each expenditure, you’ll need to record three simple things:  the amount, to whom you’re paying the money, and for what the money was spent.  For income, you’ll note where the money came from, and the amount.

2. Start with three types of tracking registers — one for cash, one for each checking account, and one for credit card transactions.  Label each register to reflect the type of transaction.  It’s important to track cash, credit card, and checking transactions separately to keep yourself out of the financial fog.

3. Now, every time you spend or receive money, write or type it in the appropriate register.  This includes all income and other money that comes in, such as gifts, loans, or refunds.  For instance, if you’re paid in cash, note it in the register for cash.  If  you receive into or write a check on your checking account, note it in your check register.  If you buy something with your credit card, note it in your credit card register.  Likewise, if you return items and receive a refund to your credit card account, be sure to record that as well. 

A Word About Resistance

If the idea of tracking each and every monetary transaction makes you squirm and silently say, “No way!” you’re not alone.  Many people resist the idea, at first.  But the rewards of tracking will quickly outdo any initial resistance you may feel.  Most of my clients are shocked and delighted when they realize how this simple process starts to changes their lives.  By becoming and remaining mindful about their everyday interaction with money, they receive important feedback about their money behaviors and have the chance to alter them.

Remember, the purpose of money mindfulness is not to punish you for “bad” spending, but to empower you to make informed choices about where your money goes.

Recently I was deeply struck by a post called The Statute of Limitations on Regret–  posted on the Get Rich Slowly blog. It was on the author’s reaction to a couple who was beating themselves up for the money mistakes they made.  And now they are focused on just getting through the day, marking time and feeling depressed. Yikes.

Well, we all make money mistakes. And on top of our mistakes, we feel horrible about them. Do you struggle with being critical of yourself over a money mistake? Are you plagued with regret over what you did- or didn’t do? Do you keep thinking and thinking and thinking- swirling in a circle—wishing you’d done things differently?

To compound our woes, we rarely talk about them. When we make relationship mistakes, we often hash over the “I can’t believe I did that” with girlfriends over a glass of wine. But when it comes to money, we can be extremely self-critical—suffering pangs of regret and remorse- replaying our money mistakes over and over in our head– mostly in isolation.

Here is how to heal.

1. Talk about it! And name the regret.  We all know that speaking our truth heals, so get clear about the regret… and tell someone. Whom do you trust with your regret? Who would not judge you but would simply listen and love you anyways? Be specific about what you regret.

“I regret incurring that $23,000 in credit card debt over the last few years.”

“I regret borrowing money from my friend 8 years ago and never paying it back.”

“I regret buying a house that I couldn’t really afford.”

“I regret not saving more money.”

“I regret taking out student loans and then not finishing school.”

Speak your truth out loud. This is healing. Many clients have “confessed” things to me over the years, and it is always healing for them.

2. Name the belief you were laboring under. What basic belief do you think fueled that behavior?

“I think I believed that I didn’t have to really care about my spending. My mom never did.”

“I guess I had this fantasy that I would make enough money to pay the loan back.”

“Well, I thought that my income would just keep going up forever.”

“I believed that I didn’t really have to think about the future, I was too wrapped up in the present. I believed that things would magically always work out.”

“I think I was at a loss as to what to do with my life, so I decided to hide in school for a while.”

Naming the belief is part of healing. Without naming the belief, it’s easy to repeat the mistake. And sometimes the other person can help you out. You can ask this trusted friend, “What do you think I must have believed in order to have done that? I can’t figure it out. I’m too close.”

3. Forgive yourself. Yes, you knew this was coming. But truly—you did the best you could with where you were at the time. And besides, you are human. To err is human, remember. And you ARE human. And there is a lot at stake here- so take heed—every study done on the subject of forgiveness tells us that not forgiving harms our health- emotional and physical. You are more prone to illness when you don’t forgive yourself. So can you imagine saying, “I need to move on for the sake of my health and my future self?” Some people have a hard time forgiving because they confuse it with forgetting. But they are not the same. You do not have to forget. You can use what happened as amazing fuel to move you forward. And you deserve to forgive yourself. What happened is one piece of your life, but it is not YOU.  And remember that it’s a process. You can start by saying, “I am in the process of forgiving myself.” Repeat ten times a day, for a week.

4. Find the silver lining- so what is the silver lining? What did you learn? The school of hard knocks is hard, but it isn’t called a “school” for nothing. What would you do differently? If this hadn’t happened, might it have happened in the future in a bigger or different way? There is a learning here. Find it.

5. What are your new actions? There is good that can come out of this. You’ve learned some things. What are some new actions you can take that would make you feel better? Can you cut up your credit cards? Can you set up an automatic savings account? Can you put in place some new healthier ways to be with money? Do you need to talk to a mortgage broker or your CPA? Is it time to work with a money coach? Pick one action and move forward. It feels good.

Remember, to make mistakes is human. And making money mistakes does NOT define who we are. What we do about them, though, does say a lot. It is our capacity to see and learn and grow that makes us amazing human beings. Transforming and healing your relationship to money is a sacred journey, full of twists and turns at times. But it is a journey none-the-less. Is it time to forgive yourself so you can continue the journey?

TIME TO EARN MORE?

If you would like to earn what you’re truly worth and step into greater abundance, please see Mikelann’s Unlock Your Earning Power toolkit.   Identify what has been holding you back, learn the skills to ask for more and start earning at your true potential. For both self-employed and salaried women.

When we spend money to alter our mood, we are using money as a drug. And because this drug is socially sanctioned— rarely do people do an intervention on someone for overspending– this particular drug habit can become very destructive.

And to make matters worse, as our society evolves to ever more electronic transactions, we become more and more divorced from the real-time pain—and consequences– of this drug. We don’t feel the downside until it is too late. The credit card bill comes next month. That one-click shopping happened so fast that we are left only with the pleasure of our purchase and a vague feeling of worry.

Is money always like a drug? Of course not. A lot of our spending is necessary. Think about food, as an example. Money and food are often used in similar ways. We need to eat and we need to spend some money. And sometimes we eat to excess and sometimes we spend to excess.

We can also talk about money and alcohol. Like alcohol, recreational shopping can sometimes be enjoyed in “moderation” and sometimes it can be abused. (And for some people, even a small amount of recreational shopping– on-line or in person– can quickly become destructive.)

But like alcohol, food, and other types of drugs, money can indeed be used as a drug. We spend money to make ourselves feel better and we spend money to blunt and distract ourselves from what we would rather not feel. We spend to “numb out”.

Feeling the pain of paying for something in the moment, like having to hand over cash, or knowing you are going to subtract the amount you spent from your bank balance today, can often slow us down. It blunts the pleasure and makes us think of the consequences. Our rational minds engage and we become more mindful.

But with the ubiquitous use of credit cards and one-click shopping on the internet, our urge to spend with no thought to the consequences– until it’s too late– can go unchecked. And when spending makes us feel good, or blunts a feeling we don’t want to feel, this “drug” can become truly dangerous. Never before has it been so easy to spend money. And yet never before have the stakes been higher. Credit card debt mounts. We are not saving enough for the future. And we acquire more and more stuff, without a true need for it or a place to even put it. But hey- it can feel so good in the moment…

And all the while, our true feelings and our true needs continue unexamined, fueling this potentially destructive behavior. Yes indeed, money can be a powerful drug.

The good news is that exploring this idea that money can be used as a drug can bring a lot of light to unexplored behavior and consequences. And it can lead us to examine our real needs and feelings—and find ways to meet our needs that truly nourish and support us, while not being financially destructive. But are we willing to entertain the idea that money can be used like a drug? Are we willing to explore a subject that is rarely talked about? As with so many things, healing starts with naming the issue. And I do believe that for some people, money is their drug of choice.