Thanksgiving is coming up. I hope you all have restful plans for it. After turkey, I personally plan on dancing tango the rest of the holiday weekend. Fun!  But before I put on dance shoes, I will draw names with my family for Christmas gifts. And so it begins… 

A few helpful gift-giving and money thoughts- 

• Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday to set gift expectations with your family. If you are going to draw names instead of giving every member of the extended family a gift, now is the time to do this. If you draw names, make sure you tell the group the financial limit. Think of this as a game and people need to know the “rules”. Passing the hat with names is a fun Thanksgiving activity. (One year we passed the hat twice- the adults in my family each drew one name for a $100 gift. Then we reloaded the hat with names and added the teenagers in the family. The second round was for a $25 gift, so the teens could be in on it. It was a fun and sweet gift exchange for the extended family gathering.)
• Are you bothered with the “do we really need more stuff??” Do a name drawing round and add another rule: each gift must be edible! Or create your own rules.
• If you have children, now is the time to set their expectations around their gift list and how much mom and dad are spending. Kids of all ages do well when they know what to expect.  Each year I tell my son the total of how much I am spending on his gifts, and he enjoys getting busy with his amazon wish list. Here are more ideas for sane gift giving: https://www.seattlemoneycoach.com/re-imagine-gift-giving-propose-changes-thanksgiving/ 
• Stressed in general over Christmas? Or are you dealing with being a single parent over the holidays?  Here is my four minute video on holiday sanity ideas https://www.seattlemoneycoach.com/6-tips-sane-holiday-gifting-video/
• The top way to avoid overspending is creating a list. We don’t just underestimate the money- we also tend to underestimate how many people we gift. So here is the link to creating a holiday spending plan:  https://www.seattlemoneycoach.com/create-holiday-spending-plan/

I work with clients on how to tame financial anxiety. I teach them the practical skills needed to manage their cash flow as well as help them explore their emotions around money.  This work propels them into a balanced lifestyle- where they spend within their means and feel good about it. 

Fearing the future

But what of the future?  Nothing brings up fear and anxiety about the future like retirement planning does. In the middle of the night we awaken worried about our future- what will we do? How will we take care of ourselves?  Will there be enough? Some become haunted by images of bag ladies destined to walk the streets with their shopping bags. We awaken and think, “I have to get a handle on retirement”. But then the cold sweat recedes into the background and forms a kind of free floating anxiety.  And no action is taken.

We all want to retire and live comfortably. One of the reasons we take no action is that we simply don’t know what to do.  And not knowing what to do keeps us locked in inaction. Articles on retirement planning can be complicated, and we are often stopped by the numbers. We immediately become suspicious that we don’t have enough money to save for the future, so why bother looking under the bed at the monster? Better to not think about it.

Why scaring people doesn’t work

Some financial writers try to scare you into action, by painting dire numbers and depressing, “if you don’t do something right now” scenarios. The obvious problem is that fear and anxiety are well known to keep people from doing anything. It literally freezes them. 

And of course there are all those articles on how we should have started saving when we were 25 because of the power of compound interest… but these articles serve to shut us down if we are 43 and haven’t done a lot. We feel defeated before we even start. We feel hopeless, like we’ve lost too much time and we can never catchup. And I’m sorry, but retirement funding was NOT on my mind at 25 as I debated marriage, grad school loans, babies and a used car that didn’t have a lot of use left in it….

It’s not too late to catch up

So let me be clear- it is NOT TRUE that it’s too late to catch up and be on track for retirement. Many of us who started late, for a wide variety of reasons, simply need to open up to the creative possibilities that lay before us. Maybe we were wiped out in a divorce at 40 (I was). Or we’ve simply been deeply distracted by raising kids and managing our careers and dealing with a variety of curve balls that life likes to throw. 

On the positive side, we are older and wiser now. With our life experience we can think more rationally about lifestyle and not get as caught up in how society tells us we should live or spend. 

Some positives of being our age

Another positive is that many of us make a lot more money now than when we were 25. This is great news! So while our expenses have obviously increased from 25 as well, we are working with more money and can direct some of this to retirement, once we get clear.

Experience has also likely taught us that automatic monthly deductions can be our friend (like that 401k pull), and that inevitably we will be able to live on what is “left over” after the contributions are taken from our account or paycheck. In fact, it’s highly likely that you’ve adjusted many times in your life to varying sizes of income.  This is the power of life experience.

One Possible Action

So now is a great time to sit down and wrap your arms around retirement planning. Taking a couple of actions will make a big difference. 

One action may be significantly increasing your 401k or IRA contribution. Make it monthly, not annually. That is MUCH more livable and doable.

One thing I tell my coaching clients is to not fight basic financial psychology. It is very hard for most people to find large chunks of money once a year. It’s almost always better to invest automatically once a month with a paycheck deduction or a deduction from your checking account.  If you learn to live on what is left after a monthly contribution, you will be a MUCH happier person, one who doesn’t think about this all the time. (And you’ll actually make more money in your investments- you will take advantage of what is called “dollar cost averaging” with monthly investing, not risk bad market timing by investing only once a year.)

The truth is that monthly investing brings sanity and happiness. AND it also means you really will think about money LESS often. Bonus-  you can avoid the stressed out mad scramble to fund your IRA in one fell swoop just because your accountant tells you what it would save you in taxes.

Releasing energy

Increasing your investing, or starting to invest, IS doable and we do have enough time when we enter into the conversation and put a couple of things in place.

The glorious upshot is that  if we can come to the place of feeling like we will be okay because we know we are “on track” and will have enough money to live on someday, this releases enormous energy. We don’t fear the future or dwell on it.  It frees us up to enjoy our lives that much more in the present. 

In a future post, I will share five basic steps to planning your retirement. (With a couple of simple calculators thrown in. Oh fun!) Then we’ll get you to an investment planner and off you’ll go.

Last, if you are curious about the difference between a money coach and a financial planner, please read this post.

A common question I get is “what is the difference between a financial planner and a money coach?” 

One way to think of it is that financial planners primarily focus on the future and a person’s larger asset picture (long term savings and investments). They try to help people save/invest enough to retire and reach other large goals by giving advice on how and where to invest money. They also help people manage investments during retirement. And they may also manage large portfolios if a client has trust income.  These are incredibly important functions and a trusted financial planner is worth her weight in gold. I’ve referred many clients to financial planners.

A money coach, on the other hand, is involved with teaching people how to manage their current income and outgo- their cash flow. Money coaches address practical money matters as well as the emotional components that often fuel financial behaviors. Often times, my clients describe this work as their “final frontier”— while they’ve done work on many areas of their lives, money remains frustrating and confusing. Money coaches give you relief in the day to day of “dealing with money” and provide hope for the future.

For many, the key is to escape the “money fog”. The process of emerging from this fog helps clients tackle issues such as financial avoidance, emotional spending, debt, retirement funding and making more conscious decisions about their lifestyle spending. With this work, people begin to feel in control of their finances and they feel better about their money choices overall.

Some of my clients come into money coaching already working with a financial planner. However, many are distressed because while they may have an investment plan in place, they are still full of anxiety in their daily life around money. They want to use money to create a life they love in the now, as well as in the future. They don’t know how to “budget” or plan their spending. They may feel guilty about spending, sometimes struggling with credit (paying credit cards in full each month until suddenly, they can’t…) And they may feel pressure from their planner who tells them they should be investing more to “be on track”, but they really want to spend money remodeling their kitchen…  

The numbers are relative. For example, in one scenario a family may make $350,000 a year in income but they spend, or suspect they spend, $400k. They hate opening up their credit card statements, and sometimes feel like they have to sell more corporate stock then they wanted to, to cover everything. They may be getting emails from their investment planners, who are worried that the investment plan is underfunded. And yet, the tuition bills continue to arrive and their friends want them to join them on expensive vacations. How to navigate all of this? This is where money coaching comes in.

Other scenarios are people who just divorced and suddenly everything is different.  While a financial planner can help them feel less fearful about their future retirement, this is generally not the person to help them chart a new relationship with money. They may be working with less money, fear needing to go back to work, and /or worry about keeping a house.  And if they were not the person who managed the family money during their marriage, the task of money management can feel very daunting indeed.

And in yet another scenario, perhaps someone is already retired and has a great financial planner overlooking their investments, but they need to be careful about not spending beyond their projected retirement distributions. Money coaching can help them learn how to plan their spending and live happily within their means. 

One way to think of it is that money coaches are the “family doctors” of finance. Financial planners are specialists (retirement investing for example) as are CPA’s (tax advice). Money coaches:

• Help people who may struggle with overspending (spending can be very emotionally driven) 
• Help people who may struggle with not earning quite enough. (Negotiating with employers can be stressful. Raising your fees for clients can feel very hard). 
• Work with couples who may be in conflict with their spouse over money. (Different money styles tend to marry…)  
• The list goes on.

Will a money coach talk with you about retirement? Absolutely! We cover the entire life cycle of money needs. We work with people on understanding their net worth, and we help them find the money to start, or increase their retirement investing. Financial planners love it when their clients work with a coach. When I refer a client into a financial planner, that planner knows that this person knows what they spend, and knows what they can afford to invest and has a way to stay in touch with their money when life throws them a curveball.  Without this coaching work, a planner can help someone come up with a great plan for the future, only to have the person call them the next year and tap their retirement account for the kid’s braces…

A quick word on certifications. I generally recommend people look for a CFP when they want to find a financial planner or are focused on finding “retirement planning help”. This stands for Certified Financial Planner and is the gold standard of their industry. Money coaches have a variety of designations, as it is a newer field. My original certification was with the Financial Recovery Institute as a Financial Recovery Counselor and Coach. I then earned my AFC. (Accredited Financial Counselor.) I am also a member of the Financial Therapy Association. As with other things, interviewing your professionals and/ or getting good personal recommendations is hugely helpful.

With a topic as important as money, people need a good team around them. A money coaches is a key advisor. Yes, it takes a while to learn how to manage cash flow and then build a balanced lifestyle. And yes, support is invaluable when healing from financial trauma. Creating a new healthier relationship to money does not happen overnight. However, one benefit of having a coaching relationship is that after you move through the more time-intensive aspects of coaching, you can check in with your money coach for years to come on all sorts of money related topics. It feels great to have someone you can really talk to about money who truly understands you and supports your happiness- both now and in the future.

From dental bills to vacationing in Mexico- one woman does it all

June is a great time to adjust your annual spending plan, whether by yourself or with a money coach. (Talking through your thinking with someone can be very helpful!) It’s about getting ready to enjoy your summer. 

So what are your summer plans? Are you taking a vacation? Doing some large home projects? Hosting family?

Monthly spending plans are about managing your cash flow and keeping your stress down- they keep you in touch with your spending and your larger plan. And indeed- cash flow in the summer can get pretty crazy with expenses like travel putting pressure on your accounts. But annual plans are about decision making, visioning and how you want and need to live your life for the year. (Your monthly plans are what enable you to live out your annual plan.)

Freshening up your annual plan in June and July (mid-year) will give you peace of mind and help you see if you need to change anything, to make sure you can be financially stress free when you travel and work on your home projects. The last thing you want to think about is money, when you are off enjoying the summer sun. Give yourself the gift of financial clarity. My clients often report that one of the great gifts of money coaching is enjoying vacations more- and not worrying about coming home to the credit card bill.

One of my clients, when we were adjusting her annual plan, was worried about a trip she really wanted to take, because she was hit with high dental bills recently. Turns out she needed some emergency crowns, due to cracking a molar back in February… 

However, as we sat there working with her annual plan, we saw that if she waited on buying some living room furniture, or considered buying the table and chair set at consignment instead of new, she could easily go off to Mexico with friends this summer. She practically floated out of my office.  (She did not want to reduce the new higher retirement savings she had recently started. So we adjusted a few smaller things as well to give her some breathing room.)

The key is knowing what you want to protect. For her, time with friends and time away from work, was more important than buying brand new furniture.

Enjoy the summer,

Mikelann

Want some joyful inspiration for your money life? Here is an amazing podcast interview I did on how to live your financial life in alignment with your core values- so you can spend on what truly gives you JOY, while also protecting your future. This interview also looks at how to unhook your self-worth from your net worth. And then  it addresses the metaphysical question of money as energy and how to feel truly abundant. Give a listen- I think you’ll be truly inspired.

Listen here

The lovely woman who interviewed me was Seline Shenoy – an author, entrepreneur and seeker of truth on a mission to inspire others to live fully and authentically.  She is the founder and writer of the blog, The Dream Catcher, and the host of The Dream Catcher Podcast. Find her here: www.thedreamcatch.com

If you want to avoid that January spending hangover and December stress, find 15 minutes, a pad of paper and a cup of tea.

Remember, a plan lets you know when you’ve completed your shopping. It tells you when to stop — if you don’t have a finish line, you are going to keep shopping as long as the stores are open. (Or until the “guaranteed delivery dates” from online shopping move to December 26.) Knowing what you have already ordered and have left to buy — and how much more you want to spend– will save you a ton of money. You will finish your shopping earlier and you will have fewer impulse buys.

TIP: Create your plan in whatever form will be easiest for you to bring with you when you go shopping or sit at the computer. If you are a pen and paper person, use that. Keep everything on your phone? Make it digital. The best plan does you no good if you don’t bring it with you.

Make Three Columns

1. First column: List People —Think of everyone you are planning on giving a gift to, and list them in the left column. Don’t put down gift ideas yet. Only brainstorm people, and make sure you get everyone. One of the biggest pitfalls is gifting a lot more people than we originally intended. Consider creating three sections: family, friends, and service providers (babysitter, hair stylist, etc.)
2. First column: Now add other holiday expenses: after you list the people, write down: holiday cards (and photography?) holiday decorations, holiday clothes, holiday party costs and holiday travel.
3. Second Column: List Gift ideas and other things that cost money — Now that you know who and what is on your list, write down gift ideas for people.  And also write down the gifts you’ve already bought/ ordered. Write down holiday entertainment you are contemplating. (Going to see a holiday play? Need a new Christmas tree this year?)
4. Three column: Money— Last, enter amounts of money in the final column. Do the best you can – a guess is better than nothing. If you have already purchased the gift, put down what you think you spent. Let me be clear- if the money has already left your account for ordered gifts, or gifts purchased long ago, list these amounts. Then list the amounts of money for gifts you have not purchased yet. What will the play tickets cost? The tree? Circle these unpurchased gift/ item numbers. 
5. Totaling Up and Adjusting — Now add up your total. If it includes gifts already purchased (back in August?) you may be surprised at the actual total. And then total up the remaining items to be bought- the numbers you circled. How do you feel about the amount? Does this seem reasonable? Really think about it. Can you afford this? Is it worth going into credit card debt to be able to give a gift to everyone you know? What are your other options? If your total plan seems too high, go back and make some adjustments and then re-total. Keep doing this until you feel better about the total.
6. Tracking — As you spend money on the remaining gifts, jot down the amounts on your plan. Add up what you’ve spent on a weekly basis, or more if need be. Where are you? Remember, part of creating a plan is seeing what will happen before it happens! If you don’t like what you see, take the time to work on your list.

The good news is, trying to stick to a plan (regardless of how successful you are with it) will cut down on impulse buying, which is a major problem during the holidays. Without a plan, people buy more things and spend more money on each item they purchase. The temptations can be overwhelming when you are out shopping.

If you have gone through your plan and don’t know how to make this work, consider getting more creative. What if you changed your holiday gift-giving ritual? I used to give gifts to friends, but now we all go out and enjoy a play together. This came out of doing my own first holiday spending plan. I felt a little guilty when I approached them with my idea, but discovered they were all relieved.

My colleague Karen McCall wrote an amazing post on how to have a joyous and debt-free holiday. She covers not only how to do a holiday spending plan, but also helps you examine your feelings and beliefs about the season to see how they impact your behavior. Check it out: The 10-Step Plan to Have a Joyous and Debt-Free Holiday Season (financialrecovery.com)

And last, a final quote for you from Dr. Seuss: “Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store.”

I wish you joy,

Mikelann

Fall- my favorite time of year. Curious where I’ve been? Here’s my update, with thoughts you may find useful on creating rental income and financing your child’s college. Speaking of college- here is a picture of me and my son Zander at the big high school graduation party. Hallelujah!

What’s Mikelann the money coach been up to?

Creating rental income: This summer I finished building a second home—on my property–  and then rented it out! I wanted to diversify my investment and retirement portfolio. We all have to put together our financial lives in different ways so we know we will be able to “retire” someday and have what we need.  For me, to get where I wanted to go, adding rental income became a key piece. Now, both my houses are on twenty year payoffs, so I know when I will be mortgage free. Will creating rental income work for everyone? Of course not. But part of money coaching helps us see what we need to live a good life. From this we see what we need to earn. And then you take it out even further- you see what lifestyle you want to have in the future, and how to make it happen. Personally, I think of it like “designing” a life with various puzzle pieces that form the picture we like. And it’s been a heck of a learning process…

How I financed my kid’s college: Last month I sent my son off to college. This has been my proudest achievement for many reasons. On the money side, I will share this- the month he was born, we began saving $100 a month into a 529 plan. That’s it. Fast forward to today and we have his tuition, housing, and meal plan fully funded for over the next two years at Western Washington University ($39,000). To this we added a $5,000 GET account from his grandmother. He will have scholarship money that is the equivalent of one year’s costs. We are cash flowing the rest. Starting last month, we stopped funding the 529 and now my ex-husband and I each put $225 into a dedicated savings account. Each month. We estimate this will cover our son’s fourth year. Every family is different. I simply share it to give you one way to think about college funding.

Whew!!! No wonder I haven’t sent a newsletter out in a while! I’ve been a bit busy. Oh- and I added another financial certification- now I am an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC ®) The certification is for professionals who guide clients through a holistic counseling framework of life-cycle financial education–  Say what??? Meaning- helping people realize their money goals and achieve lasting financial well-being.

Does it change what I do? No. As a money coach I work with amazing people who want to heal and transform their relationship to money.  But it was a lot of study and I’m proud of it. We all have to stay on top of our professional game.

Happy Holidays,

I am sure everyone is in the swing of the holidays and doesn’t have time to read a newsletter. So here are six tiny thoughts to keep you happy and sane during this magical time….

1. Remember, some gifts should be considered “token gifts” and, as such, should be small enough and of a low enough value that the receiver doesn’t feel obligated to reciprocate.
2. I love this quote from Mary Hunt: “It’s not up to you to find the exactly perfect gift that will fulfill the deepest heart’s desire of your recipient. It’s not your responsibility to become the ultimate mind reader and desire fulfiller. A gift is simply an expression of your fondness for the recipient.”  Yes!!
3. The reason shopping with a list is so important is that you know when to stop. If you don’t have a finish line, or an end, you are going to keep going as long as the stores are open.
4. Family favorites? Ask family members what 2 or 3 things they liked the best about last year’s holiday events. Sometimes the simplest things get the highest rating. You may find out you are knocking yourself out on things no one is really interested in. When I asked my son, he said gifts (predictable) and helping me make chocolate walnut bourbon balls. It was quite the production– and a fun night.
5. For all us single parents—don’t get caught up in one-upmanship with your ex-spouse over gifts. It is your relationship with your kids that matters. They want time with us. (And they want to help us make chocolate walnut bourbon balls.)
6. Holiday mantra to repeat over and over—“I am not June Cleaver”- nor would I want to be! A messy house sure looks great if you dim the lights and plug in the tree. (I can’t be the only one who grew up watching reruns of Leave it to Beaver- after school in the seventies…)

My holiday best to you all,

Mikelann

P.S. If you want to transform your relationship to money next year, please contact me.

Mikelann is a money coach with over 20 years’ experience, helping women escape the money fog, feel more in control of their finances and love their financial life. If you are ready to leave money stress behind and design a life you love, please see www.seattlemoneycoach.com and read about this life changing work.  Once there, grab her free eBook on how to stop worrying about money.

Want to know a secret to feeling more peaceful and in control with your money? Simplify your finances. And the best way to do this is to limit the number of accounts you have. Simpler is better.

Over the years, I’ve seen just about everything. When new clients come in, one of the first things we do after they share their story is draw a picture of all their accounts and how the money flows. I’ve seen people with three checking accounts, four credit card accounts and three savings accounts—at multiple banks. It’s not uncommon.

Sometimes multiple accounts are a left over from a past relationship. (Divorce?) Other times people purposefully set up multiple accounts in an effort to manage their finances. “I’ll pay the mortgage from this account and my car and other bills from here. And this checking account is for fun….” And then they divide up the money among accounts- and then commence to move it around when it doesn’t quite work….

Other times it just feels like accounts breed behind our backs- sometimes from offers from banks. We want to be smart and get the better interest bearing account, so we open a new one….

I find that people are truly trying to do the best they can.

So here’s the deal: for many people the more accounts you have- the more money fog you are likely in. And the harder it is to plan what you want to do with your money. Simpler is better. Period.

People who are successful with money- who feel good about their finances and feel in “control” of their money– often have one checking account and one primary savings account linked to it. Then they have one credit card account.

That’s it.

One. The power of one.

One checking account. One savings account. One credit account.

In fact, studies show that people with multiple credit cards are often in danger of overextending and having late payments. The most successful/ high credit scores are actually owned by people that use one card. Two at the most. Multiple cards are often taken as a warning sign by credit institutions. It’s simply a lot to juggle, and banks know this.

And no matter what- the more accounts you spend out of, the harder it is to see what you spend.

So- can you close some accounts?

Multiple accounts are simply not worth the time and attention they take. Think of it like spring cleaning. Time to clean out the wardrobe, redo the insides of that kitchen cabinet, and rethink what accounts you want to use.

In the simplest, sanest and happiest of all worlds, primarily use one account- your checking account. Befriend your debit card. It’s very easy. (And as I’ve written about before, people spend more when they use credit as opposed to debit. It’s a brain thing- it’s very difficult to avoid overspending when you use a credit card because you simply don’t feel it in the same way. I’m not saying to not possess a credit card. You can use it for large purchases and then pay it off.  But it will be easier to do if you only have one credit card, and you seldom use it. And if you have one primary checking account, you can clearly see that you have the money to pay it off.)

But if you do use a credit card, use one card. That will simplify things immensely.

One is a magic number. Anxiety goes down with fewer places to look. Life calms down.

So, is it time to simplify things?

Mikelann is a money coach with over 20 years’ experience, helping women escape the money fog, feel more in control of their finances and love their financial life. If you are ready to leave money stress behind and design a life you love, please see www.seattlemoneycoach.com and read about this life changing work.  Once there, grab her free eBook on how to stop worrying about money.

By Candace Brinkley-Badgett, published by Credit.com

I was thrilled to be interviewed by credit .com on what money coaching is- and when it makes sense for people and when it doesn’t.  As this article states, getting down to the emotions that surround money is one thing that differentiates this coaching from other forms of financial guidance.  The author really captured what this coaching can cover and how to find a good fit. The only thing I would change is that it says that I work primarily with professional women in Seattle—and I actually have amazing clients all over the world.  Enjoy this and please pass it on if you know someone who may benefit from money coaching.

When Joni McClain and Tammy Lorraine got engaged in January 2015, money, wedding costs and potential debt, were not things they were thinking about, much less the services of a money coach. They were in love and, like most couples, that took up a huge chunk of their time and brains. The giddy pair, from Austin, Texas, decided on a wedding date about 18 months away so they’d have plenty of time to plan.

But then things happened and money – not just the costs of getting married – became top of mind.

“The possibility of debt, became a real factor when Joni was laid off in July of 2015 and was out of the workforce until January of 2016,” Lorraine said.

“All my spare income that was coming in as a photographer now had to be directed toward living expenses, so it was a wash,” McClain said. “Then Sam [the couple’s dog] got very veterinary-emergency-hospital-sick-in-the-middle-of the-night sick. Making sure he was going to be all right cost us half of what we’d saved for the wedding.”

While the couple has been fortunate to have friends and family contribute their time, talent, money and even the venue for their wedding and reception (thus avoiding a lot more debt than they thought they’d have to take on for the wedding) they realized they might need to look at present and possibly future money stresses. They wanted to get their marriage off on the right financial footing and eventually decided to hire a money coach.

They chose a friend from their church whom they describe as strong and powerful. (Their money coach was unavailable to be interviewed for this article).

“For us, it’s more than just experience or knowledge that a coach will provide,” Lorraine said. “There’s got to be a personal, intuitive, and for us, spiritual element our coach had to have. It’s important to us to work with someone who shares our belief system about what money is and what it represents to us, and our coach is a great match for that.”

The couple’s approach to choosing their coach sounds like it was just right, according to Karen McCall, a financial recovery counselor and founder of the Financial Recovery Institute, which specializes in training money coaches.

“Hooray!” McCall said. “What they’re looking for is somebody who’s speaking to them in terms of their values and can tune in to them with the numbers but also more on that emotional, spiritual basis. If they both feel they’ve found someone that is going to be able to listen to both of them and work in that way, they’ve done themselves a good service.”

It turns out, getting down to those emotions that surround money for a lot of people is what really differentiates money coaching from other forms of financial guidance.

Is a Money Coach Right For You?

Money coaches aren’t for everyone. For example, they’re not necessarily a good choice for people having money issues because of one-off financial occurrences, according to Mikelann Valterra, a money coach in Seattle, Wash. So, if you got into debt because of medical bills or other extenuating circumstances, you may just need a lawyer, accountant or other financial professional to help you resolve the situation, she said.

“I think the perception that’s hopefully changing is that people do what they do around money solely because of lack of skills,” Valterra said. “But if that were true, everyone would go out and read a book on how to handle money better and then no one would have any issues around money. The reality is, money is a very, very emotional topic because it hits on survival issues and self-esteem issues – people are so afraid that if they really look at their money situation they’re going to have to make huge changes in their life.”

So how can the average person tell if they need a money coach?

“The issue isn’t debt, because people get out of debt all the bloody time. Money coaching looks at patterns,” Valterra said. “So, if you have refinanced your house three times, there’s a pattern going on. If you have paid off your credit card debt, but three years later you’ve racked it back up, a money coach would be perfect. If you just got a raise, but you still have nothing in savings, if you’re tired of being stressed around money, tired of feeling guilty about spending…feeling out of control, a money coach is perfect.”

Valterra, who works primarily with executive women around the Seattle area, said coaching addresses more than just money management.

“I deal with both the earning side and the spending side of the equation,” Valterra said. “Are people underselling themselves and are they making enough money and that’s very complex. Part of it’s skills, part of it’s emotional mindset and what we feel like we deserve to have and why we undersell ourselves.”

Amanda Clayman, a financial therapist based in New York City, suggested other good times to consider a money coach are situations where you have goals around money that you haven’t been able to achieve, changes that you haven’t been able to maintain, or you just feel stuck and unhappy.

“One of the benefits that a coach can provide is they give you some feedback about appropriate goal setting,” she said.

Finding the Right Money Coach

It’s important to speak with a few coaches to make sure you feel a connection, Clayman said. “You want to be thinking ‘How engaged do I feel with this person, and do I feel like this person really understands me?…or do I feel like this person is just trying to sell me a package or results, but I don’t really feel heard in this exchange.’”

When beginning your search for a money coach, Clayman advised:

• Know what your goals and objectives are
• Know the kind of working relationship you want (e.g., are group sessions OK or would you prefer one-on-one sessions?)

It’s also good to keep in mind that money coaches are not regulated. They’re not required to have any kind of specific education or licensure, so do your homework and watch for red flags. You want to make sure you find a reputable person to help you. While money coaches aren’t regulated, there are many groups throughout the country that train money coaches and issue certifications.

“Anyone can call themselves a coach,” Clayman said. “So you might want to ask a coach about their training, look at their testimonials or ask if there are other people they’ve worked with that you could talk to about their work.”

Basically, if you find anything unsettling about a money coach, that’s a strong indicator you should look elsewhere, Clayman said.

“Anything that sounds too good to be true probably is,” Valterra said.

Also watch out for coaches for whom you can’t find any referrals, she said, and take a close look at their qualifications.

“Education and training is important, and if they’ve helped people get the results they wanted, that’s huge,” she said. “I’d recommend people look for someone who has done training as a money coach or training as a financial counselor.”

And, as Clayman said, finding a coach who feels like a good fit is key.

“It’s such personal, intimate work, so you want someone who you really like and trust, who you really like the way they communicate,” Valterra said. “It’s pretty all-encompassing, looking at long-term, deep change in terms of thinking and behaviors and feelings around money.”

How Much Should I Pay? 

Costs for a money coach vary from region to region and from coach to coach based upon their expertise, level of education and experience, but the typical range is from $50-$250 per hour, which could be too much for some people looking for help with their money habits.

“A common question is ‘I have money problems, how can I afford a money coach?’” Valterra said. “And one answer is that people tend to save more money very quickly in working with a money coach than they’re actually spending on the money coach. Even though that is often true, I’ve still had many cases where I’ve referred someone that my services would be too expensive and might harm them, either to a new coach who’s charging less or sometimes their situation is just not appropriate for a money coach, they just need a quick fix.”

There’s also the option of working with a money coach who lives in another region and may charge less — if you’re comfortable with email, video chats and other electronic means of communicating.

Finding a student money coach who is working on their certification is also an option.

“A very cool thing that very few people know about is that new money coaches do have to work with what we call practice or supervised clients for a reduced fee,” Valterra said. “That’s definitely a win-win for everyone.”

According to McCall, coaches in training can cost between $25 and $50 per hour. She personally supervises the coaching being done by trainees under her guidance. Before she lets students interact with clients for the first time, McCall ensures they are really well grounded in the process, that they are empathetic and understanding, and that she feels clients will be comfortable with them.

How Long Should You Work With a Money Coach?

How long you might need to work with a money coach depends on your specific situation and needs, but Valterra, for example, has clients she’s worked with for many years.

A relationship that can start off with regular sessions can, of course, end once a client achieves his or her goals. Or it can become a lasting relationship that turns into to quarterly or even annual “tune-ups.”

“I keep my clients for years and years and years,” Valterra said. “I’m like the family doctor; they just don’t see me as often as they used to.”

For McClain and Lorraine, the answer to how long they would work with their coach was simple. Kind of.

“Until I can resist buying new patio furniture for our new house?” McClain said, sheepishly.

“Until I embody the principles my coach embodies as well, or I’m out of debt,” Lorraine said

“Yeah, that,” McClain agreed.

Mikelann is a money coach with over 20 years’ experience, helping women escape the money fog, feel more in control of their finances and love their financial life. If you are ready to leave money stress behind and design a life you love, please see www.seattlemoneycoach.com and read about this life changing work.  Once there, grab her free eBook on how to stop worrying about money.