Category Archives: Emotional Money Path

Are you caught in the illusion of the End of History?

By Mikelann Valterra, MA, AFC

In my recent article, Taking care of the future you. Who is she? I shared how difficult it is for our brains to imagine ourselves in the future. It is as if that future person is not us. It’s someone else. This makes it hard for us to save money for “her”. Getting to know her—imagine who you will be in the future—helps us save money for her.

But the rabbit hole goes deeper than this. We struggle imagining ourselves in the future. True. But when we do imagine ourselves in the future, we tend to assume she will be like the present us. She will want the same things, do the same things, have the same goals and desires. In effect, we think we won’t really change that much from who we are right now.

But think about how much you HAVE changed. When I think of the Mikelann of 35, a young married wife and mother, I had not yet discovered creating art. I couldn’t imagine getting divorced. I had not yet started my meditation practice that would impact so much in my life. I see all of this now, looking backward. I have changed a lot. We all have. And I will continue to change in the future…

The “End of History Illusion” is what psychologists call the tendency for most people to be keenly aware of how much they’ve changed in the past, but to underestimate how much their personalities, goals, and desires are likely to change in the future.

Think about that.

People do believe that they have experienced significant personal growth and changes in taste up to the present moment, but they believe they will not substantially grow or mature in the future.

In short– we think that who we are right now is who we will be for the rest of our lives.

I believe it’s called “The end of history illusion” because we think we have reached the end of our “history”. It is as if I’ve reached the apex of “Mikelann-ness”. You are at the apex of YOU. You are fully cooked. You are done becoming and have arrived at who you truly are. But it is completely false. Tastes change. Dreams change. Goals change. We encounter new people and new ideas. We DO continue growing and changing in the future.

So, this impacts financial behavior and money management in many ways. For example, we assume that if we like our job now, we will still like it in the future. Perhaps we feel we have enough energy now, so we believe that of course we will have enough energy in 5 or ten years. Therefore, we say we will wait until 70 to take social security, but we end up changing our mind because at 62 we are very tired and sick of working…

The bottom line is that if we can’t envision how we will continue to grow and change, we won’t give our future self enough resources for the new things she will need, value or desire. Why? Because the present self doesn’t feel / envision these things.

This is why saving money, even when you don’t know what it is for, is so key.  This keeps your options open for what you may want in the future, even though right now you don’t want “it”. “It” may not exist for you right now.

At 45 I was not a dancer.  I could never have imagined that only ten years in my future, I would be a dancer, competing nationally, and wanting to use all my discretionary money for tango related training and travel.  Saving money for future desires not yet born is key.

Here is a more sophisticated use of this idea. My new husband and I were debating putting down more money each month on a house payment, so the mortgage would be paid off early. I bet my future self would love to have more rental income and no mortgage. But then I reflected. Will the future Mikelann of 15 years want to keep the house, or will she sell it? If we instead invested this money into a brokerage account each month, then in 15 years I would have more options. We could put this money down on the mortgage in a lump sum. Yes. OR perhaps I will want to do something different with the money.

Sometimes financial decisions are not just about math and the best investment return.

While it is easy to look back and see the changes in our past, being open to changes in the future is more exciting if you have savings and financial flexibility. Money is ultimately about freedom. Even if you are not sure how you will use that freedom.


If you want to save more, you may have to get a handle on “lifestyle creep” so you have more money to save. But what truly causes lifestyle creep—spending more when we earn more– and how can you combat it and not feel deprived? Stay tuned for the answers to this in my next newsletter.


 

Taking care of the future you. Who is she?

By Mikelann Valterra

I’ve asked clients over the years to envision themselves in twenty years. What about you? Can you do this? The truth is, we struggle with imaging ourselves in the future.  But the ability to envision ourselves in the future has the single greatest impact on our financial behavior and in particular our ability to save. Herein lies a big problem—did you know that the part of the brain you use to think about yourself is a different part of the brain than you use to think about other people? AND– when you think about who you will be in the future, be it five years or twenty, the part of the brain that activates is the part that thinks about other people.

It is as if you are thinking about someone else. Not you.

Because we struggle with seeing ourselves in the future, we struggle with taking care of the person we will be in the future.

Our brains tell us that it is not us, it is someone else. So why sacrifice for this “other” person? Saving money for retirement or future dreams and goals involves spending less money now. Boring! And I would rather buy the shoes and go on vacation. Why spend less so I can save more money for “her”?

So, feeling good about saving money first involves spending time getting to know your future self.  But how can you get to know this person?

Try this exercise: Write out what an ideal day may look like for you in twenty years. Where do you live? Who is around you? What do you hear and see? What are you wearing? Spend time describing the environment that you may enjoy being in, in the future. Then write about what the future you may be doing. What are you hoping you/she will have time for?

Some financial therapists recommend using aging software to get a picture of what you may look like in the future, so you can really befriend your future self. Be careful with this, as this is helpful to some and upsetting to others. If it might motivate you—connect you better to her– then do it.

Another exercise: write your future self a letter and ask her for advice about money. Then have her write a letter back to you. What do you imagine she may share or ask you to do, or stop doing, that would take better care of her? This is about growing and nurturing this relationship with the future you. You can talk with her.

The other issue with thinking about our future selves is that you don’t always know what you are saving for.  The future, by definition, is unwritten. We are saving for things that haven’t happened yet. What emergency might happen that will require you/her to use your/her safety net savings? (So that you protect your investments.) What lifestyle will you/she want to have in the future that is different now? Savings gives you and her options.

If you do not take care of your future self, who will? Your future you will want freedom. Savings protects her freedom.

Consider brainstorming a list of possible actions you could take that would help take better care of the future you.

Then go back and pick one idea to implement. Here are some ideas that could help:

  • Increase your IRA/ 401k contributions by 3%
  • Pay down your debt so she does not have any debt payments
  • Beef up your safety net so she can use it and avoid tapping her investments at the wrong time (in case another pandemic affects her…)
  • Hire a money coach to learn how to handle money (I couldn’t resist adding that one!)
  • Take action to provide her future rental income
  • Increase your mortgage payment to help her be mortgage free sooner.

And yes, this same idea applies to health. My future self wants me to floss every day, since she hates dental procedures and wants me to do more to protect her from dental problems. My future self also wants me to continue building a strong core, so she is back-pain free. I go to the gym for her, as well as for me.

Get to know and love your future self. She is counting on you. You are in the best position to take care of her. Love her up!

(Email me back with your ideas of possible things you can do for her. I would love to see more ideas.)


And in fact, we struggle so much with seeing ourselves in the future that when we finally manage to envision her, we assume she is not that different from who we are today. Is this true? More on that in my next newsletter.

Financial therapy– stress vs. anxiety

By Mikelann Valterra

Whew! Recently, I attended the Financial Therapy Association conference in San Diego.  What IS financial therapy, you ask? It’s a process that uses both therapy skills and financial knowledge to help people achieve not just financial health but higher overall wellbeing.  Money is never just about the numbers, is it. How we feel about it, and how we use it to create a life we love, is a huge subject. And it got me thinking about financial stress vs. financial anxiety.  Yes, there is a difference.

Do you have financial stress or financial anxiety?

People who come to see me often mention being tired of money stress and not feeling empowered in their personal finances. But often when we dive in, they are experiencing financial anxiety. So, what is the difference?

Financial stress is usually caused by an external trigger, though it could be short term (being hit with a huge car bill) or long term (dealing with divorce or the effect of the pandemic on their business.)  But when a stressful “event” happens, this causes a lot of financial stress. Sometimes the event is so big that it takes a while to see it as the cause of financial stress. Sometimes it is very obvious. But financial stress generally means we fear our inflow is not covering our outflow—big or small, now or in the future.

And financial stress causes all the mental and physical symptoms that general stress does: digestive troubles, difficulty sleeping, irritability, tension in relationships etc.

Financial anxiety is something different. It is more diffuse and on-going. Your money worries feel more persistent, even when there isn’t a specific stressor in front of you.

So, if you feel stress whenever you think about money, then you are likely suffering from financial anxiety. You can’t always put your finger on what is bothering you, but you feel a general sense of unease whenever you think about your finances. You can’t point to a single obvious trigger. You may live as if waiting for something bad to happen. If feels like walking around with a pit in your stomach. Or perhaps the feeling of unease comes over you when you think about the future.

The difference between financial stress and financial anxiety is important. For one thing, one is talked about, and one is not. People are more likely to share their financial stress with a loved one or a trusted friend. But when your feeling of “stress” drags on, it is something else. It is anxiety. And this is less talked about but can be more impactful.

Unfortunately, people often get used to financial anxiety, as if it is the air they breathe. They assume money is always “stressful”, though different things may bring it to the fore (like paying bills or buying a house.) But the reality is that it is always there in the background.

It is financial anxiety that blocks us from thinking about the future and is also the cause of financial indecision. It tends to fuel the money fog that keeps people vague about their money.

Financial anxiety saps your energy. It becomes hard to plan, or dream, when you suffer from financial anxiety. It all feels pointless, so why dream anyways?

The way out of financial anxiety is a two-pronged approach.

First, to feel more secure around money, my top recommendation is to design a personalized spending plan – a.k.a. budget– so you can clearly see your income and spending and then decide where YOU want your money to go.

Creating a nourishing spending plan that is in alignment with your values and what truly gives you satisfaction, while including a plan for savings, is a major stress reliever. When you automate some of your savings, anxiety lifts even more. Seeing that your income and outgo are balanced in both the small and big picture is a tremendously good feeling.

Second, it’s important to process where your feelings of financial unease come from. Exploring your money story can be hugely helpful, as so many beliefs we have about money are not conscious. They operate in the background creating various feelings (like anxiety!) Sometimes the roots go all the back to childhood. You may have been raised with parents who fought about money, and hearing this conflict as a young child created many feelings of fear and distrust of money.

And perhaps as a young adult, you went through huge financial stress when money was so tight you feared not having enough money for rent. These fears of our young adulthood often lurk in the background long after we have the specific fears of being short at the end of the month. Processing them with your therapist, financial therapist or money coach can be hugely beneficial in helping you feel better about money in general and alleviating long-standing financial anxiety.

So while we all go through periods of financial stress (life happens!) we do not need to suffer from financial anxiety. Financial anxiety can be overcome so you breathe freely, are excited about the future, and feel great about your money life.

Money fog and your dream machine

Money Fog and your dream machine

Money fog and your dream machineBy Mikelann Valterra

When women are in a money fog, their dream machine shuts down.

What is money fog? It is the feelings of stress and anxiety caused by financial vagueness. We lose our vision and the dreams for our life because the money fog literally obstructs our view of the future.

When women feel stressed and stuck around money, it keeps them from stepping into the life they want.

They feel stuck in their lives in general, just trying to get through the here and now. Sometimes they have glimpses of dreams, hobbies, houses, or different careers, but the money fog blocks their dream machine. The dream machine begins to spin up, and then money rears its scary, foggy head, and the dream machine shuts down, replaced with stress. “I could never afford it”. “I doubt I make enough for that.” “I could never do that”. However, the money fog keeps you from really finding out.

Money fog keeps you from answering questions related to dreaming and possibilities for the future, from

“I wonder if I could consider…?” to “Would it be possible to…”?

And even bigger inquiries, such as

“What do I really want to consider doing with my life?”

When we are in a money fog, we simply can’t answer these questions, so we shut down the internal conversation.

Being clear about your money life, learning to be in control of the flow of money into and out of your life, leads to exploring a life of your dreams. But how can this clarity open you up to possibility?

Let’s turn to a gardening metaphor to explore the answer.

By creating and tilling healthy financial soil, your dreams can take root.  This rich moist soil is made up of knowing where your money goes, of having little debt and possessing sufficient savings. It’s made up of knowing how to plan for expenses, both big and small, and knowing how to adjust when things don’t go according to plan. It’s about feeling in control. The money fog, with its related fear, anxiety, and scattering of life and financial resources, causes the soil to dry out. Dreams simply can’t take root under those circumstances.

The seeds of possibility are all around us:

Many opportunities come to us in our lives, from travel and hobbies to dreams of higher education and having children. But an unhealthy, chaotic, and foggy money life makes the seeds skip off the arid ground and blow away. They have no chance to take hold.

Perhaps someone floats the idea of taking a long vacation and spending the summer in a country you’ve always been curious about. But your first reaction is “I could never afford that!”, though you don’t really know—and never investigate the possibility. Or you’re reading an article online about a really cool city, and you think for a moment what it would be like to move there, but you immediately assume it’s impossible. Who knows what you would need to earn to do that? You shut the idea down. Maybe you meet an interesting woman who is super involved in horseback riding, something you’ve always fantasized about. But your work schedule has never allowed you to do anything that took so much time. And the expense! You make great money, and you work really hard for it. So, you just keep plugging along and dismiss the idea of ever riding horses.

However, when seeds land in healthy financial soil devoid of money fog, you can till and care for them in the garden of your life. Some of the seedlings you discover in your soil you nurture and let grow—tiny ideas that become real possibilities because you have the financial clarity and confidence to explore bringing them to fruition.

In my own life, one tiny seed that blew in on the wind was the idea of learning how to dance tango. At first, I brushed the idea off, simply saying I was too busy. But I also initially assumed that the expense of lessons, fancy clothes, and my secret dreams of dance-related travel would likely be too expensive. Then, I paused and turned to my spending plan, which serves to keep me out of the money fog, and began playing with the idea of taking up the hobby. I took a clear look at all the potential costs. Could I start with some dance lessons to even see if I liked it as much as I suspected? Why, yes, I could.

One thing led to another, and I fell in love with tango with an all-encompassing passion that has given me more joy than I could have imagined. If I had been under financial stress or scattered about money, I likely would not have dipped my toe into the wondrous, complex world of tango dancing. My financial clarity allowed me to see what I could afford and possible tradeoffs to make if I wanted to spend more than I originally anticipated. For example, one year I waited to do some landscaping so I could travel more for dance. Creativity and choice flourish when out of the money fog.

In contrast, arid money soil is made up of money vagueness and a general scattered sense of money.

It often reflects your own unique combination of debt, insufficient savings, and/or low net worth. Or you work too much for the money you make, and there is no extra time or energy for these dreams. Either way, it’s the vagueness that kills the dreams. You honestly don’t know if you can afford something that arises or how much you actually need to make whenever money fog obscures your vision.

If your financial soil is rocky and dry, all those seeds merely blow away. You don’t even notice them floating by, carried on the wind, beyond a vague feeling of a life not fully lived, hobbies not developed, places never visited.

Being clear with your money and developing a healthy relationship with it creates an alchemical soil in which possibilities can take root and flourish.

Learning how to be in control of money and becoming financially empowered are about learning to harness your life force, which can take you anywhere. And you’ll always feel there is a choice.

What seeds will YOU find growing in your healthy financial soil?

Look for them. Ask yourself, what would you explore if you felt totally in control of your finances?


This article is based on Mikelann Valterra‘s latest book, Rise Above the Money Fog—The key to confidence, clarity, and control over your life. The book explores the hidden impact of money fog in our lives through the stories of four women, the psychology of where money fog comes from, and what it takes to rise above it. To order, see www.riseabovethemoneyfog.com

Mikelann’s book earns top new release!

Great news! My new book Rise Above the Money Fog, the key to confidence, clarity, and control over your life, launched this week on Amazon. I am happy to say it earned the top new release in both Amazon’s finance category AND women and business! Wow. I am over the moon. I want to thank everyone who has purchased a copy and a special thank you to the readers who shared their reviews on Amazon. It feels so good to see this book in the world, after a lot of hard work. At only 100 pages, it is short but powerful. May it help women rise above the money fog and step into their true potential!

Book info and ordering

Are you trapped inside of money fog? The Money Fog Quiz

money fog, fear overwhelm guiltAt fifty-one, Christine was tired of being stressed about money.

She had worked as a corporate coach since her early thirties. Now, it was coming on almost two decades that she had worked with large companies on organizational change. She was very good at her job and generally felt she was well paid. Her income had grown over the years. But at night when sleep refused to come, she’d worry about the future. Would she always have to work so many hours? Would she be able to pull back and enjoy her garden more? Images of her old, faded couch came to mind. She loved being at home, her sweet nest, but the couch she really wanted cost thousands. And her son was asking for ski lessons, another big expense. She kept avoiding talking about it with him.  And how about a real vacation?…

She felt fear over the future, overwhelm about figuring out how to afford her increasingly expensive life, and guilt over not giving her son what she thought could be a healthy activity for him. Income, outgo—how to get it all to work? Her mind whirling, sleep did not come.

Fear, Overwhelm, Guilt. F.O.G.

Christine was suffering from money fog.

What is money fog? At its simplest, it’s the feelings of stress and anxiety caused by financial vagueness.

More specifically, it’s when we feel fear, overwhelm, and/or guilt (F.O.G.) as a result of being out of touch with the money in our life—in other words, not being clear, confident, and in control of the money coming in and going out.

Said another way, the money fog is the feelings caused by being financially hazy.

Are you in a money fog? Let’s find out.

Here are ten questions to help you discern if you are in a money fog. Circle yes or no:

  1. Do you ever feel frustrated and wonder, “Where did it all go?” YES or NO
  2. Do you feel fear or anxiety when you think of your money? YES or NO
  3. Do you ever feel guilty when you reflect on something you bought? YES or NO
  4. Do you know where all your money really goes? For example, do you know what you spend on clothes, eating out, and vacations? Do you know what your home really costs you? YES or NO
  5. Do you have a system for tracking what you spend? YES or NO
  6. Do you know how much money you need each month to live comfortably and avoid consumer debt? YES or NO
  7. Do you know how much money you need to earn annually to cover the entire year in a satisfying way, including retirement savings? YES or NO
  8. Do you know your net worth? YES or NO
  9. Do you feel in control of your personal finances? YES or NO
  10. Does money feel like a sacred tool to help you create your best life? YES or NO

 

Count the number of “yes” answers for questions 1–3.  Answer _____

Count the number of “no” answers for questions 4-10. Answer _____

Add the numbers. If your score is more than 4, you are likely suffering from some level of money fog.

 

While I hope you’re happy with your score, chances are you identify with some level of money fog. The dilemma with money fog is that people can often only identify it by the hidden impact it has on their life.

When we are in a fog, we are not fully aware of it. We sense things are dim. And we will drive slowly if we are in a fog, trying to avoid hitting something, barely able to see the road ahead of us. We do not excitedly plan the adventures ahead of us if we are driving in a fog. Rather, it takes all our internal resources merely to cling to the road and try to keep safe. But it’s not until we drive out of the fog that we become aware of just how thick it is.

Money fog is essentially a cloud sitting on the ground of our lives—a murky condition that reduces visibility. When we’re unclear about what we can afford or how much we really need to earn, this fog causes confusion, frustration, and bewilderment.  Money fog also keeps us from seeing what might be possible further down the road.

Think about it like flow.

The money fog arises when you aren’t in touch with the FLOW of money. This flow is like a tide coming in and going out. Income comes in: earned income, rental income, child support, trust income, dividend income, and so on. Expenses go out. Oh the outgo of expenses! From monthly expenses like groceries and utility bills to the never-ending pop of “periodic expenses” such as airplane tickets, car repairs, and home remodels. Are you clear about this flow? Are you in charge of it, or is it just happening? Are you confident in how you handle this flow? Do you feel in control of your money and your life? Or are you sometimes overwhelmed by the flow?

Money as a sacred resource

As a rule, women don’t really care about money for the sake of money. It’s not a game in which we enjoy keeping score and stockpiling money for the sake of looking at it. Rather, it’s about what we can do with this resource. Yes, money is a sacred resource, and yes, it is energy and power. It is a potent energy with the power to give you what you truly desire in life. However, it is not about the money but rather what you can do with it. Money can help us live our dreams, deeply enjoy our life, take care of our children, secure our future, and donate to causes that touch our heart. This is the power of money. And money fog blocks this power.

You want to use this power to live your best life. When you feel stressed and depleted, which the money fog causes, it’s harder to attend to deeper matters like your spiritual growth. When you’re trying to relax into meditation after your yoga practice and you find yourself “running numbers” in your head or making a mental note to transfer money between accounts, these thoughts and worries are not very conducive to higher states.

When you feel financially constricted, overwhelmed, or stressed, these feelings can affect you emotionally and spiritually, robbing you of energy. The money fog also stifles inspiration. When money causes stress or simply takes up a lot of headspace, your creativity can become blocked. It is more difficult to write, paint, dance, and express yourself in the world when you are engulfed in the money fog.

But it does not have to be this way. Naming a problem goes a long way towards solving it. Once you realize you are in a money fog, you can begin to rise above it.

We all deserve to step into living fuller lives—filled with meaning, joy, and purpose. Once out of the fog, people can more easily step into new chapters, explore their own purpose, and entertain new adventures and possibilities in their lives. Without the money fog clinging to us and obscuring our vision, we can finally see new paths before us.

~~~

This article is based on Mikelann Valterra‘s latest book, Rise Above the Money Fog—The key to confidence, clarity, and control over your life. The book explores the hidden impact of money fog in our lives through the stories of four women, the psychology of where money fog comes from, and what it takes to rise above it. To order, see www.riseabovethemoneyfog.com

 

 

 

Book Release: Rise Above the Money Fog by Mikelann Valterra

It’s not your imagination—most of us grew up hearing very little about money. The result of this childhood omission is… the money fog.

Written for women, author Mikelann Valterra explores the far-reaching hidden impact of money fog through the stories of four women, dives into the origins of the money fog, and then shares what it takes to rise above it.

From inside Rise Above the Money Fog

“When you are inside the money fog, you can barely sense it. Your vision is obstructed. It seems as though it should be so obvious—something that completely envelops you. But it isn’t. From the inside, it is nearly invisible, although it impacts you in ways you can’t see. But once out of it, the clarity is beautiful, and life’s possibilities emerge before you—possibilities you could barely glimpse from inside the fog.”

Praise from other authors and readers:

“Mikelann is one of the most effective money coaches I know. Her wisdom shines through every page.” —Barbara Stanny Huson, author of Secrets of Six Figure Women

Rise Above the Money Fog is a testament to Mikelann’s years of expertise and her deep understanding of the emotional complexities that often surround our financial lives. This book isn’t just another guide—it’s a transformative approach to understanding your relationship with money.” —Karen McCall, Founder of MoneyGrit., and the author of Financial Recovery: Developing a Healthy Relationship with Money

Rise Above the Money Fog reveals the ways in which even highly successful women can struggle to live the lives they actually want.”  —Madeleine Butler, Executive Coach

“Mikelann’s empowering questions, personal stories, and inspiring examples will support you to begin using money as the sacred tool that it is to create and live your best life.” —Dana Conley, MA, Life Transformation Coach and Certified Financial Recovery™ Counselor

From the back cover:

For twenty-five years, money coach Mikelann Valterra has worked with amazing women all over the world. Her driving mission: to help them rise above the money fog. Now, in this small gem of a book, Mikelann reveals what the money fog is, its far-reaching impact on your life, its hidden origins, and the remarkable possibilities that await you on the other side. Full of stories about relatable women, you’ll be surprised and excited by what you encounter in these pages.

  • Learn the three core questions you must answer to improve your money life.
  • Identify your childhood money pattern.
  • Discover the two fears that may be blocking your way out of the money fog.
  • Explore what big thing YOU would do if money didn’t stop you.

 

Book Information:

Author: Mikelann Valterra

Print Length: 112 pages

Publication: October 3, 2023

Publisher: Citrine Life Press

Formats: Paperback and Digital (Kindle and PDF)

To order book/ more information: See www.riseabovethemoneyfog.com  Available in digital or paperback versions. This book is also available on Amazon.

Contact author for interviews, speaking, workshops, and quotes: mikelann@seattlemoneycoach.com  206-634-0861, Pacific Time Zone

Professional website: www.seattlemoneycoach.com

 

About Mikelann Valterra, MA, AFC®

For more than two decades, master money coach Mikelann Valterra, MA, AFC®, has helped women transform their relationship to money. A highly respected expert in financial psychology, she has written and spoken extensively on powerful, practical ways to reduce money anxiety as well as effective methods for earning, saving, reducing debt, and managing money. Mikelann has been quoted in national publications, including ForbesUSA Today, and Business Insider. She also guests on podcasts all over the world.  When not writing and speaking, she teaches clients how to rise above the money fog and craft their ideal life—letting go of financial stress forever. When not working, you can find Mikelann on the dance floor indulging her love of Argentine tango.  See www.seattlemoneycoach.com Mikelann’s clients span the globe.

Interview suggest magazine

Do you have financial trauma?

Interview suggest magazineI was honored to be interviewed by Suggest Magazine recently, on what to do about “financial trauma”. A large portion of their audience is Gen X Women and being one myself (Generation X is born between 1965 and 1980), we talked about this in particular. Gen X women are used to doing it all themselves– we were the “latch key generation” —  and this is both good and bad when it comes to money…

Enjoy the article – click here to read.

divorce money couple

The “Liberty” Vs. “Safe Harbor” Money Personalities (in divorce)

divorce money coupleDare I say there is a silver lining to divorce? Well, there is.  You get a fresh start in so many ways. And your relationship with money is one of these “fresh start opportunities”.

Money is the ultimate tool for designing a new life you love. However, we often act in ways that can sabotage the very life we want to create. Why? Because we are not in touch with our money personality. And if you don’t know yourself, and what motivates you, you will unconsciously make decisions that may not be for your highest good. 

When you understand your own “money personality”, your new financial life after divorce will be so much easier! I joined Jessica and T.H. on the Divorce etc… podcast to talk all about the different money personalities and how to identify your own. (Go here for the podcast episode: Divorce and Your Money Personality : exEXPERTS)

And here is an article I wrote for them. 

So, what is YOUR money personality? Let’s find out. For starters:

WHY DO YOU WANT MONEY?

Whenever I teach a seminar on money, invariably I ask the audience, “What is the point of having money?” Answers start flying and I throw them on a whiteboard. “Retirement, vacations, money for my kid’s college, pay my mortgage, to have fun, to not be stressed about money, charitable giving, to pay the bills, new car….”

From the specific to the general, there are as many answers as there are people.

How would you answer the question—

WHAT IS THE POINT OF HAVING MONEY?

Or another way:

WHY IS MONEY IMPORTANT TO YOU

Most responses boil down to one of two answers:

  • Money is important so I can do what I want to do.

or

  • Money is important so I can feel secure.

If you could only pick one answer, which would it be? Which answer draws you more? Yes, we all want to pick both answers, but which one has a bit more truth for you?……

To read the full article, please go to: Divorce and Identifying Your Money Personality : exEXPERTS

bombshell business podcast

Podcast: What is really important in life? The Bombshell Business episode

I had a great conversation with Amber Hurdle on the Bombshell Business podcast. From her roots as a poor teenage mom to becoming a successful businesswoman, Amber has had quite the money journey. We shared stories of how we both use money creatively to create a life we love, regardless of how much we actually have.  We talked about people’s money personalities and money histories, as well as the importance of using your money for what brings you joy and passion.  Listen to two women having a deep conversation on what really matters in life… Enjoy

Podcast: Create Abundance with A Spending Plan with Mikelann Valterra – Amber Hurdle | Globally Recognized Branding Expert