I’ve got five brilliant ideas, all of which could make money, and my head is spinning. But I seem to be going in too many directions and not making progress anywhere. Then I read Karyn Greenstreet’s latest (August 07) Self-Employed Success Newsletter. (Karyn is a fabulous business coach. Her website is http://www.passionforbusiness.com.) She identified my culprit: The Bright Shiny Object Syndrome. She writes:

It seems to be a trend that’s growing: small business owners are getting distracted by too many ideas or the latest fad, going off in a million directions and never completing anything. This loss of focus is costing you hundreds of hours a year in lost productivity, lost hours, lost dollars.
It even has a name: SOS – Shiny Object Syndrome. It’s not quite ADD/ADHD. It’s more that a new idea captures your imagination and attention in such a way that you get distracted from the bigger picture and go off in tangents instead of remaining focused on the goal.

Here are Karyn Greenstreet’s tips for not getting caught up in the Shiny Object Syndrome. Ask yourself:

• Is this right for my business?
• Do my customers want this and are they willing to pay for it?
• Do I have the time, resources, energy, and money to put into this to make it successful?
• Do I have too many open projects sitting on my desk that need to be finished before I begin something new?
• Do I have the ability to finish this new project, plus implement and maintain it?
• What has to drop off my radar in order for me to start something new?

Well, now that I look at her questions, I’m in a different frame of mind. I think I’ll focus on only two things that I’ve got the time, resources and energy to do!

Speaking of Practicing the Pause, I just got this email from Wyatt Bardouille, who interviewed me for their show WhitneyandWyatt.com. I asked her if I could share it.

Hi Mikelann– I just wanted to tell you that I put to use one of the tenets that you taught us on our show – Practicing the Pause. And it really came in handy! An acquaintance called and asked if I could volunteer some editing time with a group of children for an upcoming charity event. A request can’t get anymore benevolent than that. I barely have time to take a shower in the morning, I’m so busy, but I felt REALLY guilty about saying no, even though I don’t know this person very well, and I volunteer time and donate to charitable causes a lot.

So I just practiced the pause and let her talk a bit more. Then I said, “I’m super-swamped. Can I get back to you by the end of the week on this?”. That gives me time to think realistically about whether I can do this or not before committing. So thank you for that!!!!!

This is a great example. Share your example of practicing the pause!

During a recent Web TV interview for www.WhitneyandWyatt.com (I’ll post it as soon as I get it) they asked me, “What is one thing that women can do to stop underselling themselves?” Only one thing??!! But then I had it—“Practice the Pause”. The next time someone asks you to volunteer your time, discount your services or asks for something that you feel a tiny bit guilty saying no to, simply refrain from answering for a moment. Let them keep talking. Then say, “Let me think about this and get back to you.” This simple technique is incredibly effective. So often we say yes out of guilt, and then resent the time something takes, or the discount we are giving. So if you can’t say no on the spot, simply don’t say yes. Practice “The Pause”.

I practiced this today when someone called me up and asked me to give a free local talk. I needed time to sort out if it was worth it to me. Of course they wanted an answer from me right then. Too bad! I told them I would have to get back to them. Now I am sitting with it. Is it worth it? What do I need to get out of it to not resent the time it would take? But if I didn’t give myself “The Pause”, I wouldn’t have time to think deeply about it and reflect on what works for me. Practice The Pause.

Well, the Institute has landed! I signed on new lease space a month ago, and it feels great. What feels even better is how I negotiated the lease. The office space came with access to their conference room for a certain number of hours each month. That is great, since it is one reason I was interested in leasing the space. (I run a number of live support groups for women.) And of course this was put forth as “here is the price and this is what is included”. But what did I really want? I wanted even more hours included. So as I was looking at the space and admiring his building (which is very lovely!), I simply asked him, “Would it be possible to include this many hours in the same price?” He smiled and said he would think about it. When it came down to signing the lease, I brought it up again. (He didn’t bring it up!) “Have you thought about my request? Would you consider including more hours in the lease price?” This was uncomfortable. Asking for what we want and need is often uncomfortable. We fear rejection and ridicule. I knew rationally that if the answer was no, I could still have the office at the original price. But who wants to hear “no”? I made myself ask anyways, and decided to count it as a success regardless of the outcome. He smiled again and said, “Yes, I think I could do that.” It may sound like a small success, but those moments of discomfort saved me $1200 a year! (I would have had to pay extra money for the additional time I knew I needed.) Yeah! Remember, the answer to the question you don’t ask is usually no. So ask!

Washington Post Reporter Julia Feldmeier called me a few weeks ago, wanting to interview me for an article on self-promotion in the workplace. I had a thing or two to say! I told her that women have to toot their own horn, regardless of how uncomfortable it is. Because whether you like it or not, you get what you demand, not necessarily what you deserve. (And yes, that quote ended up in the article!) She writes,

There is a reason the word “shameless” is so often paired with “self-promotion”: We are taught that bragging is bad, and self-promotion is regarded as, well, bragging. Or is it?

One of the important points she makes is that in school, our achievements tend to stand on their own. We are tracked through class rankings, test scores and multi-tiered sports. We’ve grown up believing that such measurements speak for us. The problem is that after school, we have to speak for ourselves. Check out the article: Bragging Right: How to Promote Yourself without Ruffling Too Many Feathers.

One tip: It’s often better to “show” your accomplishments with a story then simply telling someone everything you have achieved. In my case, I’ll often share success stories about clients (with their permission of course!) or feedback I’ve heard from women who attend my courses. “Seven women reported to me that they raised their rates after my class. I was so happy for them!” This is much more effective than simply saying, “I’m great!” and it’s more comfortable too. Can you craft some success stories that showcase something you’ve done for a client?

I keep thinking about the stated reasons women make less then men, and the differences between being salaried and self-employed. (In my previous post, the article mentioned negotiation skills, choosing lower paying work and lack of childcare as reasons that contribute to the pay gap.) Many women chose self-employment to help balance work with family, an important element of self-employment. But self-employment is not just about flexibility. We have to make good money, or we will have to go back to the corporate world. For those of us who are self-employed, we MUST keep on top of our negotiation skills and we must make sure we are pursuing work that pays well. So ask yourself: where is the money? Don’t launch a new service only because you see a need or it sounds interesting. Where is the money? Of all the services you could offer, which one pays the best? A profitable business will keep you self-employed! The world will be our oyster if, as self-employed women, we maintain flexible schedules, learn to ask for what we want (negotiate) and focus on having profitable businesses.

I was reading the Seattle Times yesterday, and there was the latest depressing article on the pay gap: Gender Pay Gap Emerges Early, Study Finds. Basically:

One year out of college, women working full time earn 80 percent of what men earn, according to the study by the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation, based in Washington, D.C. Ten years later, women earn 69 percent as much as men earn.

Ouch! What is concerning is that if these people are only one year out from college, parenthood hasn’t exacted the heavy toll that it takes on women’s careers yet. The article goes on to say that “These unexplained gaps are evidence of discrimination, which remains a serious problem for women in the work force,” I’m not sure I agree with this, however. Yes, there is discrimination in the workforce. No doubt. (Discrimination is one stated reason that salaried women leave to start their own companies.) But even this study talks about three different factors that cause this gap: women chose to go into lower paying fields from the beginning, such as teaching instead of science, and women are not tough negotiators for themselves. (Does teaching need to be paid more and valued more? Yes, it does. But the fact remains—women know the fields they chose do not always pay well.)

Women have control over these two factors—career choice and negotiation. While the answers are still difficult, this does not boil down to simple discrimination. Where it gets even more complicated, however, is the third factor: employers need to do more to accommodate the needs of mothers with young children. The world has changed, and corporations need to change also. Gone are the days of one working parent and one stay-at-home parent. If companies want to attract and keep female talent, they need to cater to working mothers. Inflexible corporate standards is one large reason why so many women leave traditional work and become self-employed. Did any of you become self-employed to escape pay discrimination and/or to have a more flexible schedule for your family?

I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas where I spoke at the International Mom’s in Business Conference, put on by the Moms in Business Network. What a great day! Working mothers came together to support each other in being mothers AND working women! Gina Robison-Billups, founder of the MIBN, said to me several times, “I just can’t believe there are no other large organizations dedicated to supporting working mothers.” Well, here is a great organization.

Besides speaking, I facilitated a luncheon panel of “Moms Who’ve Made a Million”. How powerful! I’ve spoken of the “mommy tax”- the issue that the biggest pay gap isn’t between men and women, but rather between women with children and everyone else. Yet where were three “Moms Who’ve Made a Million”! (Among them was Kate Everett-Thorp, CEO of Real Girls Media Network, and Marsh Engles, of the Marsh Engles Show.) It is so inspirational to see women with children who are making fabulous money.

The most common question was, “How do you balance motherhood and working?” To various degrees, all the women answered, “Delegate domestic work!” These women valued their families and their careers, in that order. But the rest—they outsource. They hired housecleaners, organizers, you name it. One millionaire mom (Lisa Hammond, CEO of Femail Creations) said that when she’s really busy, they eat every meal on recycled paper plates. Cleanup is a snap. She can go from eating with her kids to playing games after dinner, and skip the clean-up! She told a story about her daughter coming home from a stay-at-home mom’s house, and how strange it was that the family ate on “hard plates” and put everything into serving dishes before the food was put on the table. What a waste of time, said her daughter! They just had more dishes to wash!

Today I had a fabulous radio interview with Marsh Engles of the Marsh Engles radio show. We discussed why women really undersell themselves. As a “creative consultant”, she made an interesting point. Sometimes women have a hard time charging enough money if what they are doing is creative. Because this work may be “easier” for some of us, and closer to our hearts, we may feel funny charging top dollar for creative work. It’s important to be aware of this tendency. Stay focused on the value that you deliver to your clients. Even if you love the work and it is easy for you, that is no reason to undercharge! If your clients are gaining value from your work, they should pay you for this value and the results they receive from your work. Check out our radio interview here. It was a great conversation and I think you’ll pick up some good tips for charging good money and feeling good about it!

Today is April 24, 2007, and that means that we, as women have finally earned what the average man earned in 2006. Yep, you read that right. Each year, the National Committee on Pay Equity (NCPE) organizes the national observance of Equal Pay Day to raise awareness about unfair pay for women and people of color in America. Equal Pay Day is observed in April to indicate how far into each year a woman must work to earn as much as a man earned in the previous year. So this is the day that women’s wage’s catch up to men’s wages.

Now I write a lot about women’s pay, and I happen to think this issue is a lot more complicated than gender discrimination and the glass ceiling. Women play their own part in earning issues as well. But discrimination does indeed still exist, and there is a lot more work to be done. So I, for one, always want to commemorate this day.