All posts by SeattleMoneyCoach

moneygrit

My favorite money tool—MoneyGrit.®

MoneyMinder

The other day someone asked me what financial program I recommend. That is an easy one for me—MoneyGrit. The answer is easy, but the question is, why?

My client Jenny comes to mind. Jenny has been my client for many years, so I don’t see her as often as I used to. Once a quarter we get together and talk about her money life. We use MoneyGrit. to look at her annual spending plan and see how her year and goals are unfolding. We talk about her self-care plan, we discuss ways to increase her net worth and fund some big dreams she has, and then I support her in increasing her income. Years ago, I taught her how to manage her cashflow and get out of debt. I was struck by the story Jenny told me recently.

She has a child who has some developmental challenges and had come across a new form of therapy that could potentially really help him. But it was very expensive. So, on Sunday night, when she sat down to track her money, she said to herself, “I’ll adjust my monthly spending plan in my MoneyGrit. with this big new expense and see what happens. Can I afford it?” Then she excitedly told me, “Well, when I went to the part that tells me if this plan works, I was shocked that it did! After all these years, I’m still amazed how this process brings my stress down. Mikelann, what do other people do who don’t have a way to get these answers?”

The short answer is most people are more stressed about money. 

Jenny uses MoneyGrit. to give her a sense of calmness about her money life. Life in general can feel chaotic and MoneyGrit. creates a calm oasis for her when she sits down once a week to track her money and look at her spending plan. She does this on Sunday evenings and it gives her a sense of control over the coming week.

Does it work magically? No. But MoneyGrit. provides you with the perspective and tools you need to make the right decisions and take the right actions.

 I recently had a huge opportunity come up regarding travel and tango dancing. I really wanted to go to this festival, but when I adjusted my own monthly spending plan with the airplane ticket and hotel, it did not work. So, I had to move to the level of looking at my annual plan in MoneyGrit. and see if I could make it work out in some way. Was there something else I could let go of later in the year, so I could make the trip and not have my savings plans and other goals interrupted? (After some thought, I decided to go, and wait on buying a big piece of furniture I had my eye on.)  

What I love about MoneyGrit. is that it helps me look at my options. This helps me feel in control. I have created a wonderful life, and money is a sacred tool in that creation. But things do not always go according to the original plan. Opportunities arise. Unexpected expenses hit.

As I tell my clients, “You can have anything you want. But you can’t have everything you want.” My clients and I love having a tool that helps us see our options and lets us decide what we are willing to give up or postpone.  MoneyGrit. provides the insights we need to take advantage of a new opportunity or roll with a sudden expense—and this is huge. And sometimes the key to good money management is all about finding a more creative way to get something done. I love this. Seeing the whole picture is so important and MoneyGrit. helps you do this.

I also teach people how to unlock their earning power. (My course page is here: Unlock Your Earning Power). I truly love the power of MoneyGrit.’s annual plan for helping my clients and students create an “earnings plan” and accurately see how much they really need to make. MoneyGrit. then helps them make the earning plan become a reality. Self-employed users also harness the power of an earnings plan when they use the business version of MoneyGrit. I love this. No other software does this.

Money programs should help you see where you spend your money, stay out of debt, and not create new debt while you pay off old debt. And they should also help you see your whole life and allow you to consciously create and craft a lifestyle you love, while helping you easily see what you earn and spend, so you can make the best decisions.

I can go on and on about MoneyGrit., but that is not the point of this post. You can visit their sales page to read about its features and benefits, (www.moneygrit.com). I do use all its features with my clients, in addition to using MoneyGrit. both for my own personal and business finances. There are two versions of MoneyGrit.—a business version and a personal finance version. I use both, as do many of my clients. (Disclaimer: while I am an occasional consultant to MoneyGrit., I do not get paid for recommending it!)

Ultimately, a tool is just a tool. Buying a beautiful new cookbook and gorgeous dishes won’t manifest dinner on the table (trust me, I’ve tried that one). Tools must be learned. (And “yes”, you’ll learn it faster with a coach, but “no” you don’t need one). MoneyGrit. has great support for all its users. But it is really about the intention under the tool. MoneyGrit., in my opinion, is a wonderful tool for creating a conscious life and sustainable lifestyle. It’s a tool that allows us to better use money as the sacred means for creating the life you want.

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

Tapping your inner awareness for outer financial change

Metaphysical Money Path

The idea of change can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to money. We love the idea of goals, but at the same time, feel overwhelmed by them. We may love the idea of having more money and less debt, but then are immediately distressed by the thought of how to get there. The key lies in beginning to make some shifts inside ourselves, like planting small seeds, since most of us know that true change comes from within. But how to do this?

Recently, I was reading Loyalty to Your Soul: The Heart of Spiritual Psychology (one of my favorite subjects). The authors talk about how to use what happens in our daily life to grow spiritually. And one exercise they shared is four steps to shift things in your life that you wish were different. I immediately thought of money and all the changes that people long to make in their financial life. So, while the authors (Ron and Mary Hulnick) don’t talk about finance, their steps definitely apply, and I want to share them. 

First, let’s stop for a moment and think about why making a change can feel so overwhelming. What is going on inside of us?

Part of the dilemma of making a shift is that when we contemplate making a change, we are assailed by pangs of remorse over how we have handled, or not handled, some financial matter.  So, when we debate taking more personal ownership for our actions, we immediately feel guilt. We get caught up in the self-blame game and beat ourselves up. However, as the Hulnicks write, “if it is your intention to live from within a Soul-Centered context, what you want to do is accept what IS without judgement, take 100 percent responsibility for your choices, and begin making more positive choices”. 

The key is to not judge yourself for what is. We are all enrolled in the school of life, and we are all learning from what we’ve gone through. All of us! Everyone’s money story is full of twists and turns.  The question is how to make a shift—if what you are experiencing is no longer working. And how do you make a shift in a gentle way that leads to real change?

Here is how, in four steps:

1. What would you like to be different?

Allow yourself to get very quiet, breathe deeply for a while, and try to enter into a state of calmness. Light a candle perhaps or get your journal out. Then allow yourself to identify a current situation that you would like to be different for you, regarding money.

For example, perhaps you are stressed that you do not have any money in savings. You fear that if something happened to your job or income stream, you would be in a difficult situation. You would like to have at least a couple months of savings in the bank to cover you. But you don’t, and you feel frustrated and stressed by this.

2. Are you aware of any choices (inner or outer) you are making that are helping to maintain the current situation?

Perhaps you think that you don’t deserve to have savings, and that you don’t really like thinking about the future. And perhaps in the outer world, you name the fact that you have not opened a savings account dedicated to this kind of savings. Or perhaps you have this savings account set up, but you have not set up an automatic transfer of money each month from your checking to your savings account. You are also aware that you are maintaining the current situation of not having money in savings because you are going out to eat four night a week, and this is draining your account.

Remember, you are not judging yourself. You are simply naming the various choices you are currently making that may be keeping the current situation going. If you are stuck, try finishing these statements: “Inwardly I am aware that… Outwardly I seem to be choosing to do…. Outwardly, I seem to not be taking any action on…”

3. Brainstorm other possibilities

Now brainstorm the possibility of other choices that could give you different results. As the Hulnicks write, “It’s not that you have to do anything differently; can you simply see any alternatives?”

In our example, you could choose to tell yourself that you do deserve to have savings. And that the future is a positive thing, and you welcome it. (Though you may not currently believe these things, you can say them.) You see that it is possible to set up a new savings account online with your bank. Or you imagine that it’s possible to set up a monthly transfer of a small amount of money from your checking to a dedicated savings account. It may also be possible to eat out twice a week instead of four. 

These are all simply possibilities. That is all—just possibilities. This is not about taking action. Simply allow yourself to brainstorm. 

4. Visualize  

This last step is about visualization and planting a new seed. Think back to your brainstorming. You want to pick some of these ideas to visualize. Which ones draw you, or strike you as having possibilities? 

Visualize yourself in the process of making these new choices, and visualize this in the present moment, present tense. This is not about committing to actually doing anything different right now! This step is about visualizing yourself making different choices. See yourself taking different actions. Imagine what it would feel like to take these actions.

You may see yourself getting online with a cup of coffee and setting up a new account. You may see yourself setting up automatic transfers. You visualize talking with your close friends about going out to eat at less expensive restaurants, or only two days a week. You see yourself sharing your money goals with your close girlfriends. You tell yourself, “I am worthy of having savings.” You visualize all of this in detail, including the feelings.

Remember, this step is not about action. It is about visualization.

And here is the key with this last step. I want you to imagine doing this visualization every day for a month. Yes, that’s right—a month! Whether it is first thing in the morning or when you go to bed at night, run through this visualization. Our outward behavior shifts when our inner thoughts and feelings shift. So commit to visualizing this every day. 

How will you do this? Can you put a reminder on your phone? Can you put a card on your pillow that you see when you go to bed each night? How will you go through this visualization every day for 30 days? 

True change

True change comes when we first see it internally. Don’t force change on yourself without trying to gently give your mind and emotions a new possibility. Behavior follows thoughts and feelings, not the other way around. So now is the time to begin to write a new internal program. 

The daily repetition of this visualization will lay down new potent seeds in your mind and spirit.  Then taking actions becomes easier and easier. In time, new actions bloom in the outer realm of your life, grounded in the fertile soil of your inner shifts.

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

Fear, Dread, and Leaky Roofs: 4 steps to vanquishing your money fears

Practical Money Path

The kitchen ceiling

It was a dark and rainy night, and I was returning home from the dance studio where I had been happily dancing Tango. Money was definitely not on my mind. Rather, tango dresses occupied my thoughts. I walked in the door and my 12-year-old niece who lives with me, ran to me. “Auntie! There’s water coming out of the ceiling in the kitchen! Come!” My heart in my throat, I raced to the kitchen where sure enough, I could see water dripping slowly from three places. It was hitting the table and forming a pool on the floor.

I could feel my throat constrict, my vision narrow, and panic well up in my gut. I then ranted, both out loud and inside my head: “What am I going to do?! This will cost a fortune! There goes my travel plans when the pandemic ends! I just finished the remodel! Why oh why?!” My niece, less triggered in the moment, got a bucket out. 

I stormed out of the kitchen and retreated to my bedroom, unable to temporarily control my emotions in the face of impending doom. The world was ending, the sky was falling, and the roof was caving in. 

Signs of being triggered

I knew some of my core fears were being triggered. “Triggered” generally means you experience a surge of fear and anxiety, and bleak emotions descend and take hold of you.  Underneath the panic lurks some of our core fears. We all get emotionally stirred up, but how do we know when we are financially triggered? For me, I know my core fears are provoked when:

  • My thinking slows down and gets fuzzy. (My brain capacity seems to narrow down to the width of a straw…)
  • I can’t really hear people around me (possibly giving me sound advice)
  • I can hear myself catastrophizing 
  • I feel trapped and tell myself there are no options
  • I go into black and white thinking

What about you? How do you know when you are deeply triggered? How do you react? Do you feel it in a part of your body like a stomachache or anxiety in your chest? Where does your mind race to? Knowing you are triggered is a sign to stop and look deeper, before taking action.

Our top money fear

When I looked deeper, I knew it was my biggest money fear coming up, “Something bad will happen and I won’t survive financially”. Usually it is just shortened to: something had will happen and I won’t survive. 

This core fear is the number one fear that women have around money. (And many men too.) We fear something bad happening, and suddenly the future is in jeopardy. What if we get injured and can’t work? What if our child gets sick? What if a storm damages our house so bad…? 

Worry, worry, worry.  Our nightmares take us to living under a bridge, or at the mercy of other’s financial help (living on a friend’s couch?) We fear that when disaster strikes, we will come up short financially and we will not be safe.

Author Rachel Cruze wrote about money fears in her newly released book, Know yourself, Know your money. “Every single one of us either has or has had fears about money. In fact, studies show that not having enough money is one of the top things American’s fear most. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or make, everyone has experienced fear around money…. The kind of fear that wakes you up at one o’clock in the morning in a sweat with your heart racing…”

And part of the problem with money fear, she writes, is that “fear narrows the mind’s focus to survival only and blocks out creativity.” It’s hard to solve problems when all creativity has vanished.

At times, our money fear is about the present—I’m afraid I can’t weather something bad happening, like a leaky roof, and then I won’t be able to pay my bills this month. Sometimes it is about the murky future. This usually goes, “If something really bad happens, my future is threatened.  I’ll have to work forever or be dependent on others…” etc. etc.

Home and security

For me, and for a lot of women, many of our money fears do get wrapped up in security, and this is often very connected to our homes. It is why so many women desperately fight to keep the home in a divorce, whether they can afford it or not. 

My home is everything. It is my refuge. I am the ultimate home body. Perhaps it is because I am a solid introvert, but my home is truly important. It is both real security (no landlord can kick me out) and it is emotional security. To have my home, of all things, feel unstable, was deeply triggering.  Generally, if something bad happens, I retreat to my home. This is true for many of us.

So how to move forward and come out of fear that we won’t survive something bad happening?

Dissolving Our Money Fears- Four Steps

Step One: Notice you are being triggered. 

Go back and look at the trigger list. What are your triggers? Then ask yourself, what is the worst-case scenario you envision, and how likely is it to happen? Is the world really ending? Is catastrophe eminent? Is your life being threatened? Generally, the answer is no.

As I said above, when I notice my thinking slowing down, or I am catastrophizing, or my options are very extreme (black and white thinking) I know I am triggered. This tells me to slow down, not make any decisions, and repeat to myself, “I am okay, I will get through this. The answers are coming.” I repeat this over and over.  And then I move to step two.

Step Two: List your resources. 

Second, start listing out resources: money, people, ideas. Remember, when you are gripped with money fear, your creativity dwindles. So you will likely need help brainstorming. This is normal.

When the roof was leaking, I was seriously freaked out. And I had no idea what to do. (Fuzzy thinking.) So my list was: 1. Call my mom and see if she had advice, or any names of roofing people, since she was doing work on her house. 2. Text my boyfriend, rant a bit, and tell him I needed to brainstorm with him the next day about roof stuff. 3. Call my friend Ken who has done a lot of contracting in his life. I asked him if he would come over and look at the roof with me and help me think about next steps. 4. Eventually, as I calmed down, I added to the list to call my old contractor and see if he could come and give me advice too. (Sometimes I post for ideas on Facebook.)

The point with step two is that you don’t need to have answers yet. Listing out resources, such as people you can talk to, will help you find the answers. You simply may need help brainstorming.

Step Three: Look at your savings. 

The top antidote to money fears is to have emergency savings in the bank. There is no greater help. I teach my clients to save for “periodic expenses” so they can cover unexpected expenses that periodically happen. Why? Because periodically, we all have the unexpected happen. Don’t expect life not to happen. Oh, it happens… So, while I still didn’t have any answers, I felt a bit better after I brainstormed initial options with people and then looked at my savings. I certainly did not have a budget line labeled “Roof Repair”, let alone “New Roof” but looking at what I had in savings did help me feel like the world wasn’t ending. There WAS money in savings for upcoming trips, furniture, and other larger expenses.

The next day I made the calls and started gathering info. 

Step Four: Look at your annual plan.

Eventually, by the next week, I had enough information that I sat down with my annual spending plan and came up with a plan. Part of why I am so keen on helping people learn how to plan, and ADJUST their spending when things happen, is that there is literally nothing that helps more with financial stress than having a plan. (My favorite tool for doing an annual spending plan is www.moneygrit.com) 

 Time and time again my money plan has calmed me down. I do not relish having to cut something, or wait on buying something, but compared to the fear of impending doom? I’ll take a money plan any day!!

Eventually, I had a good plan and was less freaked out. (I’m replacing part of my roof.) 

We ALL get triggered around money. Know this is normal. The key is to calm ourselves, and begin to brainstorm. Yes, it is ideal to also have some savings and a plan. Savings is simply one of our resources. So while we can’t predict what will happen, we can do certain things now that will calm us the next time the roof starts leaking, like starting a savings fund. 

Fears may come up, but it IS possible to dissolve them and breathe easier, knowing you will be okay. 

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

Work, Time, and Money: Does more money equal less personal time?

Practical Money Path

I’ve taught many classes on conquering underearning. And one common belief that comes up for women time and again is the assumption that if you made better money, you would have to work harder and have less personal time.

Our time is precious to us. I get it! We want time for our ourselves, time for our families, time for our lives. Work has to fit into our life and not lead to burnout. But is this assumption true that earning more money means we must work more hours? 

I was musing this question when the Sunday Seattle Times showed up in my inbox. In it was Parade Magazine, a newspaper magazine carried by many U.S. newspapers. They were doing their popular annual report called “What People Earn in 2020”, where they survey people across the United States, and ask them what they do and how much they make. 

The range is pretty astonishing, and fascinating. But what struck me when I was reading through it was the different amounts people earned for doing pretty much the same amount of work. For example, there was a 58-year-old school nurse who earned $44,000 a year, a 57-year-old social worker who earned $67,000 a year and a 57-year-old meteorologist who earned $83,840 a year. All worked full time. All women. All in the Midwest. 

Does the woman who is the school district nurse work hard? Absolutely! That is a difficult, and sometimes under appreciated job. What about the social worker or the meteorologist? They work hard too. All women spend their days working with people and are engaged in many different activities. All put in their hours. But one makes $43,840 more than the other. If you are going to work 40 hours a week, why not choose something you like that also makes great money? 

The dilemma is that many women assume that if they earn a higher salary, it would mean they had to work more and hence have less personal time.

Barbara Stanny, in her classic book Secrets of Six Figure Women, commented on this belief that more money equaled less personal time. She assumed that women who made really good money must all be workaholics. But what she found was quite different. In fact, a majority of women who earned over $100,000 a year worked forty hours a week or LESS. “It was the intensity of focus on their work, not the number of hours they spend doing it, that factored so heavily into these women’s financial success.” 

In other words, if you work hard during your “work” time, you will free yourself up during your non work time. I find this to be very true in my own work life. When I am working, I do nothing else. Being self-employed, this can be challenging. But I silence alerts on my phone, turn off my email, and focus intensely on my work for a certain period of time.  I believe this compartmentalizing of work and personal time is a key to maintaining balance and a sense of “having a life” outside of work. 

But the women in the Parade article were not self-employed. They were all salaried and they all worked full-time. 

I find that the answer to this riddle often goes all the way to college when most of us did not ask the question, “How much money could I make if I studied this?”  We often choose our career without thought of our future earning potential.

Again, if you are going to work 40 hours a week, why not pick a career that pays well? Also, how high- pressured of a career are you considering? Will the career you choose demand more than full time hours? All of these are important considerations for something as important as the career you choose.  The intersection of time and money is always worthy of deep reflection. 

For most of us, college was a long time ago. So now we need to examine our assumptions and see how they impact us.

When we assume something (more money will mean more work) it robs us of looking thoughtfully at many possibilities. Unexamined assumptions kill our creativity. 

Many years ago when I was married, my husband was offered a job that paid more with a different company. But after investigating the time demands and work culture of this other company, he turned it down. He decided the extra money was not worth the extra time they would demand of him. And he never regretted it.

Knowing how much he needed to earn, (and not earn) allowed him to make a thoughtful decision. And he did not assume more money always had to mean more hours. And in fact, the following month he asked for a raise at his current job and received it.

If we assume we can make good money and have enough personal time, we may look at career options with a different eye. We may negotiate for schedules that work better for us. We may think carefully about our next job change. (The average American changes jobs 12 times as an adult.) We may say no to intrusive demands. And we may negotiate with our domestic partners for more equitable sharing in household chores, to free up more time.

Examining our assumptions is key to earning more money in a way that leads to a balanced life.  So what do YOU believe?

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

Love, Happiness, and Project Savings

Practical Money Path

Recently I was doing some money coaching with my boyfriend. It’s always luxurious to do coaching in front of a fire in a cozy living room, but besides that, it looked like many of my coaching sessions. Well, I did have a glass of wine in my hand.

We were talking about his multiple accounts- and how they were not quite working for him. He kept a lot of money in one checking account and transferred money as he needed it into a second checking account that he spent out of it.  He liked seeing a large balance in the first checking account, but it wasn’t particularly organized. And he often hesitated, unsure if he should pull the trigger on a larger project. Lucky for him, he was dating a money coach.

One of the things I (strongly) suggested was that he use only ONE checking account, not two. Nothing crazy about that idea, though it would streamline his finances a bit and cut down on transferring money around to cover things.

Having two or more checking accounts generally causes havoc and money fog for most people, regardless of how many credit cards or savings accounts one has.

(Your savings and credit cards should be connected to this ONE checking account.)

But what I want to share with you was our savings conversation.

I explained to him that part of why he wasn’t feeling particularly secure was that the large chunk of money in his checking account was functioning partly as his safety net (if he left his job and had no money coming in) and partly for large projects (like rebuilding his beloved motorcycle and replacing his wood stove) and partly for boring bills and monthly spending. It was all mixed.

I recommend he have ONE checking account and TWO savings accounts.

I had him name one savings account “Safety Net”. He loved the sound of “Safety Net”- it made good sense to him. He put three months of expenses in there and LEFT IT ALONE. (Many of my clients like to call it “Freedom Fund”.) Done. Don’t touch it. Stop transferring money in and out of it.  If anything happened to his job, he was covered for a few months.

He already felt better.

Then he named his other savings account “Project Savings”. This is a name we brainstormed together. Many of my clients know I use the term “Periodic Savings” for periodic expenses, but my guy liked the term “project savings” better. Words are powerful and you have to resonate with what you name things. So great by me! This savings account is for both the unexpected (like car repair and leaky pipes) and for the expected, like vacations and Christmas. Some finance people call this your emergency savings. I never like this because some of these “emergencies” are fun- like going to Hawaii for a week. They are simply non-monthly.

But good or bad, these kinds of expenses are the bigger financial “hits” that stress him, and everyone else. He didn’t want to carry a balance on his credit card for these things, but he always felt bad when he pulled money out of his large checking account to pay them off. It felt like the “safety net” part of his money went up and down, and this didn’t feel good.

So, we got into his online banking interface and named his second savings account, “Project Savings”. I had him set up an auto transfer from his now single primary checking account to this account each month, of approximately $1,000. We debated the amount and changed it several times, as his list of “projects” grew. He knew he could pull the money out of this account whenever a “project” appeared.

My guy makes good money. He can always cover normal monthly expenses. But when he has a big project, he likes knowing now there is dedicated money for it that he can pull from—and this does not affect his safety net, which is now totally separate. He loves knowing he is saving up for these projects. His project list:

  • Attending the national tango competition in California (with me!)
  • Doing a mini-kitchen refresh and replacing some of his appliances
  • Dental work beyond just maintenance work
  • New wood stove in his living room

Here are examples of projects that my clients have on their own lists:

  • New living room furniture project
  • The breast reduction project
  • Kids summer camp project
  • Build a chicken coop in the backyard project
  • Landscaping project
  • European vacation project

What about you? What is your own list of “projects”? Consider a dedicated savings account for these periodic expenses, that is separate from your safety net and retirement accounts.

Saving money every month into a savings account such as this makes a HUGE difference in how you feel about money.  It also keeps you out of credit card debt.

Less stress and anxiety mean more time and space to enjoy life.

Here’s to a cozy fire, another glass of wine and a few grateful hugs from my boyfriend.

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

follow your bliss

The Naked Truth About Following Your Bliss

Emotional Money Path

We’ve all heard: “Follow your bliss.”  

 And how about the famous saying, “Do what you love, and the money will follow.” 

Does it? If you do what you love, will the money follow?

Maybe.

I do love the idea of following my bliss. Who doesn’t?!

The dilemma with these beliefs is that they can abdicate responsibility about money. It says “don’t you worry about that money stuff. Just focus on what makes you happy.” And of course, we want to believe that, because who wants to think about money? Isn’t it comforting that we don’t have to think about all this money stuff?

And I admit, it does sound lovely, and I wish it were true. The premise is good—it says focus on using your talents. But a lot of times it doesn’t work because people don’t realize that just because you are talented at something doesn’t mean you will make money. There must be a demand for what you do. Ouch.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that women fall prey to these beliefs more than men. Yes, men want meaningful work and work they enjoy. But they rarely divorce their work aspirations from money. They often believe they need to earn enough to support themselves as well as a family. Women often grow up still believing that we only need to earn enough to support ourselves. I rarely talk to a woman who grew up thinking she had to earn enough someday to support herself, her husband and two possible children.

Women often believe that meaning is everything, and focusing on money may somehow degrade the deeper meaning we seek.  We may also believe that bringing money into the picture makes us appear greedy or more self-centered. This is perpetuated by our common belief that one can have meaningful work OR make good money.

But what if it wasn’t either/or?

I always tell people that instead of saying, “follow your bliss and the money will follow”, say “How can I make money following one of my blisses?” The difference between these two questions is huge.  Or perhaps a better way to say it is:

“How can I make money doing something I like?”  This opens the field to many possibilities. It is about trying to balance both money and doing what you enjoy.

There are many things I like. However, some of these ideas will earn me more money than others.  Not all hobbies or passions can be turned into lucrative careers. And sometimes trying to monetize a hobby or passion takes the joy out if it. Passions are the spice of life. It may be better to create a career that gives you good work life balance, so you have time for your passions and interests.

When you think about work and career, look for the intersection of these three things: Work you enjoy, work you are good at and work that pays well (other people value financially). What type of work sits at the intersection of these three things? 

When we say, “follow your bliss”, and disregard money, we are not living in balance.

A life lived in balance means we balance what we like to do with the money we need to earn to live a healthy and happy life.

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

Healing the disconnect between work and money—Ask this one question

Emotional Money Path

Recently, I went to a large chain bookstore and stood in front of several shelves of business and career development books. From how to write your resume to how to decide what you want to do with your life, it was all there. Everything, that is, except money. 

I grabbed a pile of the most promising career/ professional development books and sat down to study their indexes, looking for the chapter in each book where they talked about money. You know—how much money you wanted to make and how much various careers paid etc. I found nothing. The closest thing was the perfunctory chapter on salary negotiation. There was nothing on deciding how much you wanted and needed to make, and nothing on how to match your income desires to different careers. There was nothing on the financial pros and cons of various fields and no talk of the incredible wide discrepancy in pay between fields.

What did I find?

Personality profiles. All the career development books were devoted to helping you analyze your personality and then find a good match with a satisfying career. Now mind you, I am not saying that a good match is not important. It is incredibly important. You spend far too many hours working to not enjoy what you do. But money is incredibly important as well. It is one of the main reasons people work in the first place! And yet it is hardly even mentioned in the many books designed to help you find the right “match”!

One of the better books out there on job change is the annual updated What Color is Your Parachute series. This series is about how to do a “life-changing job hunt”, and is full of useful and practical information on how to job hunt in real life, using what Richard Nelson Boyles and Katharine Brooks describe as non-traditional techniques. (For example, they think that resumes do very little to help us land the next job.) 

In their annual edition, they list out the most common reasons that people pursue a major change in their career. I was fascinated to see that only one had anything to do with money and compensation. It seems as though work is rarely related to money, and I believe this “disconnect” has far reaching repercussions for everyone, but especially women. As you’ve seen, a life time of not earning at one’s potential, of not really taking one’s earnings seriously or trying to maximize what one can earn in a given position, wreaks havoc on your future financial stability. And I can virtually guarantee you that the person you will be in thirty years is going to wish you had paid more attention to this whole “money” thing, in the present.

The disconnect in our schooling

As I mentioned, the disconnect between work and money starts even earlier then when we enter the job force. It starts in school, where money is rarely acknowledged or discussed.

Why does no one ask us when we are in school how much money we would like to make? It seems almost a crass question, so it is rarely, if ever, brought up. And since it is not brought up in the schools, people generally do not bring it up themselves. A school’s silence on making money somehow sanctions ones continued reticence in asking the question ourselves. 

Even when we are growing up, most girls dream of doing many things, but very few of them envision how much money is attached to these fantasy occupations. There is still an ingrained sense of reliance on something outside themselves. Women do not have the basic assumption that it will be up to them to take care of both themselves and a family. Therefore, they have the luxury of not thinking about this whole money thing. 

But what if we did think about it?

What questions would we ask ourselves? Perhaps we could start by asking how much money we would like to earn someday. Then when we are in school we could ask questions like,

“How much money could I expect to make if I study this”? 

This single question is so important, yet it is almost never asked. Women pay a high price for not asking questions like these. Years later, after decades of low earnings, they may wish they had asked themselves more questions. 

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

Earn More: The Power of Hanging Out with Successful Women

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How does it feel when a successful woman looks you in the eye and tells you that she believes you are worth more? Magical!

Sitting in the coffee shop, sipping my non-fat latte, I was sharing my business ups and downs with two other women. Wonderful, powerful women who were, in fact, more successful than me.

When I moaned over my financial frustrations, one of them locked eyes with me and said slowly and clearly, “Mikelann, you are worth a lot of money.” Then she told me just how much she thought I was worth.

I felt my eyes widening. I knew better than to say, “Yeah, but—” so I just squirmed in the chair while letting her words sink in.

The encounter taught me a powerful lesson. We need to purposely spend time with people who are more successful than we are. We need to be inspired!

Do you spend most of your time with people who make about the same amount of money as you do?

If you go to a dinner party with people who make a lot more money than you, it can feel strange. If everyone at the party makes a lot less than you, it also feels strange!

We instinctively seek our “financial comfort zone.” But the dilemma is this: if everyone in your life is doing exactly what you are doing, it is very difficult to change, and making more money often requires changes.

Do you draw toward you people who inspire you? Do you deliberately seek out their company?

I had become friends with the women who sat with me at the coffee shop. They were ordinary women who dealt with everyday challenges. We all tried hard to make time for our families as well as for ourselves, struggling to find that elusive work/life balance. They were good women who wanted good things for their loved ones, for themselves, for the world, and for me.

As women, we crave relationship, and this brings up two important points for you to think about:

  • One: we need relationships to be truly happy. If you believe that being wealthy will mean being alone, you will not seek wealth. So what do you believe?
  • Second: women can be deeply affected by what people say to them. We take in feedback more profoundly than men do. Imagine the impact of surrounding yourself with positive, abundant women who believe in you! The effect is amazing and life-changing!

So who do you surround yourself with?

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

The Dream Catcher Podcast

Podcast: Creating a mindset of abundance

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Want some joyful inspiration for your money life? Here is an amazing 40 minute podcast on:

  • How to live your financial life in alignment with your core values- so you can spend on what truly gives you JOY, while also protecting your future.
  • How to unhook your self-worth from your net worth.
  • What the role of the Law of Attraction is, in creating financial abundance.

The lovely woman who interviewed me was Seline Shenoy — a blogger, podcast host and journalist on topics related to psychology & personal growth, wellness, social & global issues. She is the founder of The Dream Catcher – a blog and podcast community that connects and encourages people to live their dream life and make a difference in the world.

Listen here

 

How to live fully from divine abundance — A book recommendation

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I love this book: It’s Not Your Money- how to live fully from Divine Abundance, by Tosha Silver

Occasionally a money book comes along that I adore so much, I not only read it twice, but must share it with my readers. Tosha Silver’s latest is one such book. What makes it sweeter is that I consider Tosha Silver one of my spiritual teachers. Five years ago, my friend Kathy handed me her first book, “Outrageous Openness” and I have been hooked ever since. 

Tosha is not a money guru. And she herself definitely never saw a money book in her future. She is an American spiritual teacher. Tosha Silver graduated from Yale with a degree in English Literature but along the way fell madly in love with the deep path of Raja Yoga and the spiritual philosophies of East India. For the past 30 years she has taught people around the world ways to align with Inner Love.

One of her core teachings is about “offering”. When we offer our lives– our thoughts, decisions, and actions– over to the Divine Source, everything flows easier. This could be about romance, careers, what car to buy, or… money.  

Tosha’s deep personal spiritual practice is married with her irreverent sense of humor and a boatload of wonderful stories. She writes about her own relationship with the Divine and money, and how the Divine can be everyone’s intimate life companion as they navigate financial waters with greater ease. 

While not against the “law of attraction”, she has noticed over the years that we often pervert this law into forcing it to deliver what we want, as if the universe were a cosmic Amazon wish fulfillment service. Then we think we did something wrong when the Amazon truck does not disgorge our fulfilled wishes. If one aligns oneself with flow and knows that it is not really your money to begin with, but the Divines, everything becomes easier. 

A word on language, which she herself addresses in the opening: you can use God or whatever word suits you. Some will prefer “Universal Source”, or Shakti, Lord, Love, Flow, Lakshmi (Indian Goddess of abundance), Divine Intelligence, or whatever works for you. 

At the center of her work is the idea that we are here to serve the Divine and have the Divine flow through us, not the other way around–where the divine is at our beck and call.  Tosha’s work is dedicated to the idea of “offering”. This is a beautiful concept. We can offer up our burdens and let go of being the “doer”. The divine will show the way. And with practice, offering gets easier.

She interweaves the idea of “Prarabdha Karma”– “the idea that in each lifetime, a soul is born for a distinct curriculum. Every desire might not be meant to occur, no matter how many vision boards you make.” (The emphasis is Tosha’s.)  The truth is that everyone may have a different set of abundance lessons they are learning in any given lifetime.  But you can learn how to invite and embody the universal Source, and as you open to it, abundance flows in all sorts of wonderful ways.  

Her book is about how to become a conduit for Divine Flow. She teaches us how to become open to how God wants to “deliver”, often in ways we never imagined. 

In short, when we align with the Divine Source, true abundance can flow through us unimpeded.  Chasing abundance does not work. “Being” abundance, and letting it flow through us, does.

With all this in mind, Tosha guides the reader through five steps that will align you with greater abundance. This allows prosperity, in all its many forms, to flow easier into your life. You are lifted from financial worries and come to a place of knowing that you are always taken care of and there is always enough money.

As one of her chapters opens, it says, “You can’t water the roses if you are standing on the garden hose.” Yes! She teaches the reader how to shift from demanding and chasing to offering and opening. In this way, abundance begins to truly flow through you.  Trust replaces fear. 

One of her steps will be familiar to readers: clearing out clutter. When people release clutter, they create room for something new to come into their life. I have seen this again and again with clients. As they clean out a purse or an old file cabinet, money comes in unexpected ways.  (I wrote a post inspired by Marie Kondo’s book, called “The life changing magic of tidying up your finances” and how it relates to prosperity.

Opening up to receiving is also key. When we say, “I am open to receiving” we allow the flow to come. So many people, women more than men, tend to give too much and not allow their “receiving” value to function two-way. Sometimes we feel guilty about receiving. But to become truly abundant, we need to allow the flow to come to us in sometimes unexpected ways. You can not pray for greater abundance, and then dictate to the Divine how the flow arrives. (You can certainly state your preference, however.)

Through story after story, Tosha shares how offering and clearing, praying, and releasing, bring us abundance in the way that is perfect for us. Along the way she helps us cleanse old childhood wounds that keep us stuck. So many of us have wounds that say we do not deserve abundance, and this staunches the divine flow. 

One core of her book is her abundance prayer. She asks readers to say it daily. It is beautiful and powerful. I will only quote the beginning of it here, as it is truly Tosha’s. But I urge you to get the book just for it, and even better, buy a copy of the abundance prayer. Frame it and say it daily. I bought two copies- one I framed for me and one I gave to my love to keep by his bed as he transitions to his next career calling. He loves it too.

“Divine Beloved, allow me to give with complete ease and abundance,

Know that You are the unlimited Source of all.

Let me be an easy, open conduit for Your prosperity.

Let me trust that all my own needs are always met in amazing ways

And that it’s safe to give freely as my heart guides….

(The entire prayer is here on Tosha’s site in her store. https://toshasilver.com/)

I’ll end this review by quoting what is on the back of the dustcover to Tosha’s book. Writes Tosha, “Very often people find my work because chasing and grasping has crashed and burned like a meteor. But that painful destruction is a moment of tremendous grace as well. Because when the ego finally sees the utter madness of trying to lead, you come to a sacred crossroads in your own evolution… You’re finally ready to let something greater than the ego take over your finances, and everything else. True intimacy with the Divine can begin. This is the road to abundance and freedom.”